I am on Day 13 of 112 on Phase One of my medically supervised liquid diet. I have not eaten anything outside of the program. I haven't cheated, not once.
I was told that the first two weeks on the program are the hardest. And I first thought that since the first week was so hard that week 2 would be a walk in the park.
Oh, I was young then! Okay, it was 5 days ago but still, so naive.
I went in for my weekly check in and to be honest, I was kinda bummed at the results. MY scale showed a 6.5 pound loss and my doctor's scale showed a 3.9 pound loss. Some people in my group lost 8 pounds but more people were in my range.
And I was bummed because with all that I had gone through, I wanted to lose so much more. Now, I know what you are saying, "But 6 pounds in one week is good!" or "You're just getting started, etc." And yes, I know. It took me years to put on this weight, it'll take some time to take it off.
It appears that I, myself, had some unrealistic expectations.
I also found out that I didn't need to be drinking that much water. I could count the water I was adding to the shakes. And my body was adjusting so I was as thirsty this week as the week before. I still drink a lot of water and need help with bathroom breaks during school hours, but I feel a little more balanced.
But this week was hard in a way I wasn't expecting. Week 1 was about my body adjusting, whereas Week 2 was about my mind adjusting. And man, she is a b*tch!
So far on this plan, I eat every couple of hours and I am not hungry. So none of my issues came from needing to eat but I felt so deprived to the point of tears. I missed my soda, I missed food....bread, sandwiches...surprisingly NOT candy but baked goods like cupcakes and such. I didn't miss fast food but I missed steak and chicken. Oh, and chips....I missed meals. I had a dream where I shoved my mouth full of sourdough bread without realizing it, and asked myself, "What are the chances of this being a bar?" Oh, it was bread all right, and sourdough is my favorite. I even missed salads.
I was resentful and sad. And to add insult to injury, my weight started fluctuating and I wasn't losing much if anything.
I don't care that I shouldn't weight myself everyday...that was the ONE thing I was looking forward to on this plan was seeing those numbers go down and my scale betrayed me! BETRAYED I say!
What was I doing all this for!?!
Oh, there were tears. There was doubt. There was me questioning if illegal speed was simply getting a bad rap and maybe I should have gone that route.
But I didn't give up. Instead, I looked to what I could add to my diet that was on the list like: zero calorie sparkling water or Hint water. I found out that I could add Mrs. Dash to my soups to improve the flavor. I could even drink diet sodas if I wanted to but I want to move away from sodas so I stayed away from that. But the other drinks seem to help.
No, I didn't give up. The scale has started to trickle down.
I just hope this works.
One issue that I am having is that this high protein diet is really messing up my gut. I meet with the doctor in a couple of days for my first Med Check and I am going to seriously talk to her about adding some fiber to my diet. I hope my tummy issues is why I wasn't losing much weight this week.
I was pretty active this week, I hit 10,000 steps every day but the weekend because I'm a teacher and trust me, we move a lot.
I have to be okay with the fact that my process might be slower than expected. I might not lose the 70 to 80 pounds within that time frame. It may take me longer. And even if I was 50 pounds lighter for my trip this summer, that's still amazing. I have to stop comparing myself to others. Some people are going to lose more than me and I just need to be happy for them.
Mother f***ers.
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