And All That Jazz....

So I haven't written in a while, and it's not for lack of anything interesting happening....

For one, I never made it to Anchorage. The planes weren't flying and the ice road is still to dangerous to attempt. Us being weathered in caused a lot of hate and discontent.....and I really wish I was exaggerating.  But I'm not. After we missed our afternoon flight, they tried to get us on the evening flight out of Bethel but there weren't enough seats for everyone. They went by seniority to arrange flights and I was one of the ones who got a seat on the later flight. The flight was soon booked up and not everyone was slated to still go. Some people took it as a personal insult that they didn't get a seat on the evening flight. As you know, we didn't make that flight either. But there was a lot of tension in the air.

The real reason I haven't posted is because there's stuff going on that I don't feel comfortable discussing on my blog. I've had to stand up for myself a couple of times already and I've chosen to steer clear of some people who are so negative, they make a night with the Grinch look like a good time.

It's really hard to be in such a small place and deal with this. You can't escape them. I try to keep to the positive and enjoy myself, I spend time with my friends and my puppy.....but once I put my guard down or I get upset about something, it all comes gushing at me.

Negativity spreads so easily. It's so quick to taint a conversation, or misread a look. Maybe it's a good thing that the holidays are coming up. I do need a break from some people. It seems like little digs at me (or not even digs ~ more like inconsiderate comments/actions) are bugging the crap out of me. I'll be feeling great and positive and the next thing I know, I'm complaining and spreading my own negative stuff.

Thank goodness I can keep that stuff away while I'm teaching! I am very good at enjoying my students and having fun with them.

Okay, enough with the crappy crap, there have been a few highlights:

*I was mildly electrocuted at work. I pushed a button on my SmartBoard and got zapped pretty good. It shorted out the button tray and left my arm feeling weird. I did lose some sensation in my finger, but I'm hoping that's not permanent.

*Dakota has started being more adventurous during our walks. He has expanded to the woods around our complex. I was starting to worry I'd have to drag him out somewhere and then he can pull me back. But he's becoming braver and braver.

*I think Dakota might be sick. He was sick all last night (tummy issues) and he threw up today. Thank goodness I'm taking him to a vet in Bethel on Wednesday already for his health certificate to fly to California. I hope the planes are flying.......it might be nothing....sigh

*My district announced a new reading program plan. It's only for grades 3-12 and requires coordinating with those grades. I was trying to see how I could implement it and still teach 2nd grade reading, and I just couldn't see how. So after I get back from winter break, I will be teaching math again and keeping my students all day. I'm kinda sad to not work with the 3rd graders everyday anymore, but I'm hoping to continue with some test taking techniques that I've started with them.

*My puppy is now the size of a large dog!! Here's a pic of him on my queen sized bed:

Dakota @ 4 1/2 months

Never Just One Thing.....

Well, my aunt passed away last Saturday. It was a long illness and I've hoped she's found peace. And to quote Forrest Gump: that's all I have to say about that.

The last two weeks has brought cold, cold, COLD temps to Akiak. Wind chills between -35 to -45 degrees.....the other day, I took Dakota out for a walk and it was -18. Dakota had a blast jumping and digging in the snow. I find as long as I am bundled up, I'm fine.

But I have to admit......one day, I woke up and it was cold. It was when the temps first dropped and I had no clue just how cold it was. I looked online and read -8 but feels like -28.....and I seriously contemplated calling in sick just to avoid the walk to school. I sucked it up and two days later, I got a stomach bug and had to stay home. That's what I get for making jokes like that.

This was my second Thanksgiving away from home. My aunt had just passed and I was sorry to not be there for my family. I ended up going to a work event, then I hung out at a friend's house playing cards. She let me bring Dakota and there were two other dogs there. Dakota wore himself out playing non-stop but he had fun. And so did I.

The next day, I went to the Millers for dinner. Then the group I had played cards with the night before came by (2 couples) and we all played UNO.....but we played pretty cut-throat and one round took forever.

I am very grateful that I can bring my puppy with me. He's getting so big. The housebreaking is coming along. This morning he woke me up to take him outside! Or he just wanted my attention....either way, it works.

Dakota has gotten so big! He's over 50 pounds but I'm not sure by how much. I got our plane tickets booked and we have a very long layover in Seattle but we will both be arriving in California on Christmas Eve. I hope everyone's ready for Dakota!! I am looking forward to introducing my family to Dakota, especially my niece India. He's a great puppy, and I really want to show him off. It's still hard to remember that he's just a baby and not not a dog yet, despite his size.

This next weekend, I have to go to Anchorage for a work retreat. Dakota will be staying with the Millers while I'm gone. It's my first time leaving him behind. I know he'll be fine, but I don't like the idea of leaving him. I am looking forward to shopping though, and going out to dinner. And maybe a movie.....yeah, that part's awesome!

I had wanted to scan a picture of my aunt and I when I was a baby, but I wasn't able to......so here's a pic of my Aunt Kim......

Kim E

As the Wind Raged....

This week, Alaska faced the worst storm in years. It hit on the coast and I heard they have to evacuate Nome. I'm sure people are curious about what happened in Akiak. Well, Akiak is pretty far inland.

So we just experienced some major wind. And since I'm from Benicia, where it's really windy, it wasn't anything exciting truthfully. The wind blew most of the snow away and it started to melt. True, we had some rain, but it really wasn't anything big.

We DID have a big snowstorm later in the week though. That brought a lot of snow & wind. Dakota loves being out in the snow, and I love snuggling under a warm blanket with my pets with the wind howling outside. Some of the bets naps I ever had were during a snow storm.

People thought it was weird that I had never been around snow when I agreed to move to Alaska. But I really do love living with snow. I enjoy it so much. I really love having a snow dog now too.

I think Dakota is over 50 pounds now. I can barely lift him. I let him go off his leash to play with some teacher dogs and he did really well. So far he knows: come, sit, high five (really shake), drop it, and speak. I've just started "lie down" and I'd love to teach "sing" (where he howls).

But this week, we start house breaking. To be honest, I'm a little unsure as to how to do this. He knows how to go outside but he still goes on his pads. And after the airport fiasco, I'm not trusting him to not go in people's houses.

School is going really well. I really love my students. They make me laugh and bring so much joy to my life. One day, we were reading from our leveled readers and there was a picture of a clown fish. One of my 3rd grade boys looks up at me and says, "Clown fish? They tell jokes?" And he was dead serious.....and it took all I had not to laugh!

There's a dark light ahead.....some of the issues I face out here teaching are being faced all over the United States. State testing is hitting teachers hard. I'll soon be judged on my student's test scores as to whether or not I'm a good teacher. And my students are so stinkin' smart, but most of them struggle with tests. Imagine taking a test that mention school buses, when most of the country has had to cut buses out of their budget.....then imagine teaching in a place with a dirt road and most of the rides are four-wheelers or snow mobiles. So of course, a test that mentions something you've never seen is quite appropriate, no?

I love teaching, I really do, but if I can't show the results the state wants, then I'm out of a job. Sure, I may bounce around from job to job until I can't find one or I start teaching in a place no one else will teach, but my future as an educator may be in jeopardy.

What other option will I have but to marry rich? ;)

So, I am seeing the writing on the wall. I need to tighten my skills and become the best teacher I can be.  I've been working on my classroom management skills for the last 6 years, and now my focus will be on various teaching methods.

My goal is to teach a fish to climb a tree. Cause essentially, that's what the tests are like.....how high a fish can climb a tree.....that's why you read about teachers in other states just throwing the fish up in the tree....i.e. changing test scores....what state was that? Alamba?

Anywhoo, I've been kinda withdrawn this past week. My aunt is in a coma right now and I've been mostly talking to my mom a lot. I've kinda taken a break from the internet. My new season of CSI came in and so I've been catching up with my one of my favorite shows. I don't know if I've ever mentioned it, but I don't have cable. It's by choice. My cable company pissed me off by offering a deal to my brother's house and my mother's house, but not to me.....they wanted me to pay $200 a month. That was four years ago. I don't miss TV. Last year, my roommate got cable and it was on constantly. Sure, I liked watching the oscars, but it wasn't worth it to me to get it again. So I just rent seasons and catch up.

But now to end on a lighter note: here's Dakota being a draft blocker at the Miller's. (Thanks Michelle for the pic! ~ Check out her blog on my page!!)

My snow dog finding the coldest spot in the house.

And the Snow Has Started....

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. I guess it's been hard to put some things down....or sort my thoughts out. While nothing's wrong, I find this year has been a harder adjustment than last year. I love my class and so many things are going so well, but it's still been a difficult transition.

I was watching Pride and Prejudice (the BBC version of course!!!) and it hit me. I was dating Mr. Wickham! My friend, Michelle, refers to him as the Barking Pig (as to not offend dogs or pigs) but I realized......He's my Mr. Wickham.....I tell you, that man would lie to your face and steal off with your sister for sure!! I'm actually okay with that, cause that just means my Mr. Darcy is not far behind.....

It's started to snow and we have quite a bit of snow on the ground. I was delighted to take Dakota out in the snow for the first time. He loved it! He runs around, digs, and plants his face in it. I have never seen an animal take to anything so fast in my life. I truly have a snow dog!

I forgot to mention Halloween. It was -4 degrees out that day. The trick-or-treaters were half frozen by the time they got to my house. And honestly, most of them had given up and gone home. But the hard core trick-or-treaters would not be denied! Annie, the oldest woman in the village (no one knows how old she is) was right out there with them, she's such a trooper!

I do have some sad news on the personal front.....my aunt is dying. She has lung cancer and it's spread. She has a tumor in her esophagus and it is cutting off her airway and she can no longer eat.

I idolized my Aunt Kim when I was a little girl. I thought she was so glamourous and fun. I hope she doesn't suffer and finds peace soon. She was a huge part of my family and it's hard being so far away from my family at times like this. Who knew the last time I would ever see her was this summer?

There's the lesson: kiss your loved ones and tell them how much they mean to you whenever the mood strikes you......

And since I hate to end the blog post on a sad note: here's pics of my loves.....

my brothers....adam & ethan

the kids table (my bros, sis-in-law, & cousin)

my cats, Daisy & Lola

Me the first time I ever babysat my niece, India

Me in Marilyn Monroe's handprint

Baby Kisses (with India)

Dakota (at 3 1/2 months)

Dakota in the snow

Dakota and I in the snow

My mother and I in Hawaii

Akiak, Alaska

Life in Alaska

Tears and Laughter

Last week an elder passed away in the village. Her passing was very sudden and shocking. She was one of the elders I worked with this past summer. She told me the legend of the "Big Mouth Baby". She came everyday and was a delight to talk too. And it turns out, she was related to a majority of my friends in Akiak.

I found out that she was truly an incredible lady. Her name was Mary Phillip. She was a nurse (I believe one of Akiak's first) and she met Elvis at one point. She had a huge family and she was known for loving to cut fish.

Her funeral was very sad. I wanted to go and pay my respects.

I really wish I hadn't totally embarrassed myself.

I didn't mean too. I sat in the back next to some ladies I knew and they asked me if I wanted to sit up front with them. I said sure and we made our way to the front of the church. To the pews next to the preacher. Most of the service was in Yup'ik, which I didn't understand, but it was still a nice service.

And then came the part where the mixed choir sings. And everyone in my section stood up. I stood up too, thinking I could at least say the words and figure it out. And this is what I see:

Numamek itlualriartangkertukguk
Tangvagarputtlu ukfamtigun
Atavuttlu nutim tuantlune,
Nunakarputtlu takumaria

    Chorus
Ilene, tayima kuyurtarkaugukut
Pakmane;
Ilene, tayima tsuikerane
Tangrutsikukut

Yuarutniktlu aturtsikukut
Tamarming nanrautkartlainarnik;
Tuane umyuartluk plugarkauguk;
Nunaniatlekerkaufkinatatlu

Atamtinun pakmanilingurmun
Nanrautput tsumekanernauput;
Kinka Taititlra pitatikluku
Atauwhakautaitlu whangkutnun.

Now before anyone goes judging me, wondering why I just didn't sound it out, let me give you a quick Yup'ik lesson: Yup'ik does not use the English alphabet, oh no, it uses the Russian alphabet....so a p makes a b sound, a t makes a d sound, a c makes a j sound, a k makes a g sound....I can go on, but I think you now understand that when I read the lyrics for Sweet By and By, I panicked.

Not to mention I was the only non-Yup'ik person in the mixed choir. I looked at the woman next to me and asked, "Do I have to sing?" And I didn't want to cause a scene at this dear lady's service. The woman looks at me with a smile that only means "Uh huh."

Oh noooooooo......The song begins and at this point, I'm just keeping my head down and trying not to bring too much attention to myself. I noticed another lady wasn't singing, so I didn't really try. It was actually a pretty song. I was just so glad when it was over. I really hope I didn't offend anyone.

The next day was a Movie Night held at the school sponsored by the Drama Club....My drama club. I guess you can say I'm the coach. It's not a class and they aren't being graded, so I'm not really a drama teacher. We had a movie for older kids (I won't say which movie in case anyone tries to sue me) and it was a big hit. The kids were so helpful and behaved themselves beautifully. I think everyone had a really good time (and it was a good movie too!)

Dakota and I spent most of last week at my friend's the Millers. (They said I could use their name). It was a K-Pup weekend. Meaning the traveling speech and language guy was in town and we get together and play games, watch movies, basically, it's an event. He comes once a month, so it's something to look forward too. I stayed up way too late but had a good time. I'm so glad the Millers adore Dakota and let me bring him.

There was a love triangle though. Their daughter N, had gotten a husky puppy that she was going to train to be a sled dog. She's really cute. Well, you know how well Lulu and Dakota get along. Dakota also hit it off with the husky pup, but she's not supposed to be in the house very much as part of her training, so she came in, she and Dakota played.....and Lulu felt left out.

She then was snappy with Dakota when he tried to play with her. Now, in Lulu's defense, Dakota did wait until the other pup was put back before he sought Lulu's attention.....big mistake Dakota. Typical male! She was quite put out with him.....and I don't really blame her!

Dakota makes me laugh! I took him out today for his walk and he was content to just explore our complex....and he discovered the puddles had all iced over. So what better idea than to "dig up" the puddles! He dug and dug and when he had a great pile of mud...oh yes, he laid on it, brushed his face on the pile and then dug some more! He was so covered in mud by the end of it, he looked like he had all black fur! He enjoyed every minute of it! The same cannot be said of his bath afterwards, however!

Yesterday, he was having so much fun running around. He really loves the snow & cold weather. It's fun to see him in action. We were supposed to be playing Catch, but he turned it into Keep Away. I'd go to grab the ball and he'd move his head or jerk away....sometimes he'd just flop himself the other direction....he's so stinkin' smart.

I did wonder though, his footprints are so much bigger than the other dog's footprints, I wonder if his prints will freak people out and they'll think there's a wolf in Akiak.......that's all I need!!!

Dakota's Adventure.....

So this last week.....sigh....

Well, I've written how Dakota was sick and on meds....but he wasn't getting any better. In fact, he just kept getting sicker and sicker....he was looking really skinny. Since his energy was still pretty high, I wasn't too worried. I kept calling the vet and they just told me to keep him on a bland diet. So I was cooking him rice & chicken. I was trying everything.

On Thursday and Friday, we didn't have school. It was two days of inservice. Thursday morning I woke up and Dakota had gotten sick all over the front of my house. He was listless and wanted to cuddle. He was in bad shape.....

So I made a few calls, jumped on a plane, and flew him to Anchorage of course. After some tests, fluids, and 4 different meds......they still didn't know what was wrong. They suspected either a parasite or a bacterial infection....so they are treating everything. I had to stay overnight in Anchorage and I came back with him on Friday.

And he's better....

It actually wasn't that much of a hassle.....I explained I had a pet emergency and I was able to get a bush plane and a flight from Bethel to Anchorage. And I was able to get a hotel room at the last place I stayed at with my friend Michelle. I didn't do any shopping while in Anchorage. I was just worried about Dakota.

I completely broke down on the flight to Anchorage. For someone who hates showing emotion in public, I seem to have issues in airplanes and airports. I just felt I had to prepare myself for bad news.

I'm glad to have been wrong about that. I know it may sound funny to some people, me jumping on a plane with my puppy....but I felt that I had to do everything in my power to take care of him.

One funny thing was that when I jumped on the bush plane, some people thought I was sick and the plane was for me....okay, it was only funny cause it wasn't true.

And now my boy is back to being his fluffy, grab you by the pant leg and drag you across the floor self again. He's put on weight and looking good.

I hadn't been crating him during the day cause he was sick....and the other day I came home to find he shredded his pee pads (used - ewwww!) and peed on his dog bed.....so he's back to being crated during the day....

So that was my adventure last week. Life out here is certainly an adventure....throw in a giant malamute and we're set.

Dakota after his ordeal....

Reflections......from a chew toy....

that would be me!

Dakota is sick right now. He had really bad tummy trouble and is now on a bland diet. I hope it helps.....I hate him being sick and I can't do anything about it.

My friend MM writes a blog and she wrote a blog entry about our trip....and her blog has a lot more pictures than mine. So if you'd like to check out MM's blog to read about your's truly, then click here. I should warn you that most pictures of me aren't so pretty. There's several on there I'd like to never see again.....but whatever! :)

Dakota is still learning and we've been having fun. He doesn't act like he's sick.....In fact, he's learned how to jump, and how to sit....at first he would get bored and walk away with me saying "Sit! Sit!" then pushing his butt down, but yesterday, he sat!!!

He really is a good puppy. He's better behaved than most puppies I've had. Of course, I can do without the humping.....luckily for me, it's on my blanket and not my leg....unlike my dear friend OM.....Dakota just loves your leg!

Dakota had a growth spurt since Anchorage....and his ears have straightened out. They don't fold over anymore. Which makes me kinda sad, cause he doesn't look like a baby anymore. He is officially 12 weeks old now. So he really is a baby.

I walk home every day at lunch to let him out of his crate for a few minutes. It's been getting colder and this morning there was frost on the ground where the sun hadn't melted it away still when I walked home. It's dark when I leave for work at 8 in the morning now too. Winter is coming...

And personally, I'm looking forward to it. I have a new parka and new boots to wear this year. I'll look great walking Dakota around.

I know that my life is really all about Dakota right now.....but he's already opened doors for me and brought me new experiences. We go on walks and kids ride by and shout hello to me and hello to Dakota. Kids see him out and they come running. And he loves people, especially kids! I used to make it a point to go walking around last year....every so often. And now, I'm out so much more. He makes life more fun.

I really wish the cats agreed with me on that one though. Lola plays with him.....she bats him every time he walks by....Daisy runs from him....

Okay, the cat thing isn't going as well as I hoped.

I made a video of Dakota pictures.....and I am proud to say, "See? I wasn't a crazy cat lady, I am a crazy pet lady!!!"

Dakota Takes on Anchorage

Sorry for the late posting. I've been meaning to write, but I've been very tired.

This last weekend, Dakota, myself, and my friend MM, went to Anchorage to pick up her new puppy, Lulu (I suggested the name!!). I was taking Dakota to the vet and he had already outgrown his crate and I was wanting to see how he would fit in some bigger ones. Plus, I really, really wanted to get him some nail clippers.....okay, I wanted someone to do it for me!

Except for Dakota's screaming when he was in his crate, everything went fine on the way over. Dakota is totally paper trained and I had thought he figured out that he could also use the bathroom outside. Boy, I was wrong.

Just so you know, in my defense, I kept Dakota outside as much as possible. And I gave him 20-30 minutes outside before I had to bring him into the terminal at the Ted Stevens International Airport to go pick up Lulu. And each time I brought him in the terminal, he'd go to the bathroom. 4 TIMES!!!! A maintenance worker walked by and said, "You know there are pet parks outside....".....Yes, I do know....I just spent almost an hour there!!! I keep saying this, but because Dakota is so big, it's easy to forget how young he is. If he were any other puppy, I'd be carrying him.

That's not to say I didn't carry my 24 pound 11 week old puppy around. See, we couldn't find where we were supposed to pick up Lulu. So we kept walking back and forth. At one point, we were in a hurry, so I picked him up and carried him. Then we found out we were in the wrong building! So we hustled to the rent a car place and I rented a SUV. When we went to leave (right after Dakota's 4th time relieving himself btw) and Dakota wouldn't move. He was laying down and he wouldn't get back up. He was so tired. So I picked him up and carried him to the car. After that, he seemed okay. We picked up Lulu and all worked out.

Too bad for Dakota, our next stop was the vet's office. My poor boy was so DONE that he hid under the bench and growled at every dog. The only one he was okay with was Lulu. He laid down during his examination and tried to take a nap. We went right back to the hotel so the "mommies" could go shopping.

The next day was a group trip to PetSmart. Where both Lulu and Dakota were brushed and had their nails trimmed. Lulu came out wearing a bow and Dakota a Halloween bandana. I bought an XL sized wire pen for Dakota that took up the back seat and the trunk. Let's just say I was glad I rented a SUV!! MM got busted with her PetCo bags while the PetSmart guys were loading the pen. Haha! I was glad I had already taken mine to my hotel room!

And now for Lulu.......ah, Lulu......Lulu and Dakota....are very unlikely playmates. Lulu is one week older than Dakota.....but Lulu is a 1.1 pound Yorkie......and Dakota....well, he's freakin' huge!

Lulu and Dakota

Lulu was the boss of Dakota! They were so funny playing together. Lulu would try to nip at Dakota but I doubt he could feel her. We were watching them so carefully but they were fine. Lulu would get tired of playing and want to be rescued. But when Dakota was napping, she'd go and wake him up to play.

Dakota learned to sleep on a bed. I think he was watching Lulu. I was hoping he'd take the lesson to heart but he only did that in Anchorage....so far. He also learned to wake up around 3:30 to play. That lesson I'm not so happy about! I'm really hoping to change that back to him sleeping through the night. 

I've never been around a puppy so small as Lulu and one so big as Dakota. It was the funniest thing. I got used to holding a puppy so tiny....thank goodness! 

Lulu - not much taller than the bottle!

It was a busy weekend and I didn't get much sleep what with the puppies and both MM and I were sick with bad colds. I was hoping to catch up on my sleep once I got back home. But my cat decided to start playing with Dakota...which is great but they play late at night.....and in the middle of the night. So it's not much sleep for me!

I think Dakota and Lulu missed each other. I brought him to MM's house and they raced around the house, playing with each other. The other pets in Lulu's house aren't especially keen on Lulu yet. And Dakota does love having a playmate. 

Life with Dakota is 10 times more interesting.....and fun!

My Dakota

Rolling with It....

Dakota

So this week, I've mostly been a giant chew toy for a 9 week old giant malamute. Sure, I've been teaching....but when you look at my arms, you'll notice I'm a chew toy. We're working on that....

Dakota has been a lot of fun, despite the chewing on stuff. Luckily, he hasn't turned to the furniture. This week, we've learned:

*how to go up & down stairs
*you can also go to the bathroom outside if you want to
*no chewing on faces, only kisses
*no pawing on faces either (ears are a gray area)
*you can lie down on a dog bed
*baby toys are a delight, especially when taken from the baby
*when Mommy walks you over to the potty spot, you should go
*cats will jump up on the fridge or bed if they really don't want to deal with you, so all other spots are optional
*when the alarm goes off, help make mommy get up (whines & pawing the bed are good choices) otherwise, mommy gets to go back to sleep
*both Mommy AND Dakota like to sleep in late if they can (cats always sleep)

Things we are still working on:

*when you fetch, you are supposed to bring the ball back
*not everyone likes sharp puppy teeth on their feet
*the same can be said with humping people's legs
*not to wait and hold it until right when you come in from outside
*barking and playing don't need to be the same thing
*the bed is for resting, not playing "Mommy's a big chew toy."
*not everything needs to be tasted & chewed on
*not to paw babies (although, the babies didn't seem to mind)
*not everyone loves dogs
*when Mommy's on the phone, it doesn't mean she wants you to bark at her

So we have our work cut out for us still. I have been amazed how good he is with kids. He interacted with babies this week and he was being very gentle with them. True, he was taking their toys.....but he was being gentle. One 9 month old just reached over and took them back. At one point, they were both chewing on opposite ends of one toy.

I've spent a lot of time with my friends, the Ms. They always let me bring over Dakota. I've spent so much time there, I think Dakota thinks he lives there too.

Another thing I find funny is that people have no idea how young he really is. I've been saying, "He's huge!" Well, this is my puppy at 10 weeks old (today):

Me holding Dakota

Yep, that's my baby. And he acts like a very young puppy, but people see his size and think he's waay older. Mostly kids...so I've been making sure I keep tabs on him while he's around other people.

Wow, he's gonna be big!!

Goodbye Sleep! It's been fun....

Dakota enjoying his crate

My weekend started off with a trip to Bethel on Friday. I went out to dinner, went to the store, and then waited at the airport for my puppy, Dakota. His name was Diesel, and I liked that name and planed on keeping it the same. But then I kept accidentally calling him Dakota. I figured it was fate, especially since Dakota was such a random name. He came in a day earlier than I thought but oh so worth it.

When they first brought him out (which took forever - the TSA guy complained about my pacing....I told him it was right up there with his pencil tapping!), I was shocked. He's only two months old and still a baby....but this was the biggest two month old puppy I had ever seen. He's 25 pounds and he looks like he's older.

He didn't seem to into me at first. And I was hoping for a love at first sight moment. But after spending all day yesterday together, he now follows me around the house and whines when he can't see me....or if I'm in the other room....or if I'm cooking a meal....or petting the cats.....you get the idea.

I expected him to howl like crazy the first night. But he was so worn out from the flight and new home that he slept most of the night. I woke up early with him, played with him, and then put him back in his crate (just like a normal work day) and then he howled like crazy....but I knew it was a lesson he had to learn. And since it was 8 in the morning, I figured my neighbors wouldn't be thrilled, but it was manageable. Last nights session at 1 in the morning will probably not be as popular. He doesn't go on for very long, so that's good. He is just a baby and I tried to wear him out before we went to bed. He still woke me up at 5 this morning, but I did get to go back to bed.....for a bit anyways.

My days of sleeping until noon are over my friend.

As much as I would love to sleep, I am okay with having my life shaken up by my new little man. I liked him waking me up to get love and attention. It's better than waking up for other stuff.

He's not a cuddlier....I don't think he's been handled very much. He doesn't like to be picked up, held, or hugged. He didn't even lick me....but last night, we were playing ball and he plopped down beside me and rested his head on my leg....good enough for me! And this morning, I got kisses. He'll come around. And I had to realize, maybe it's okay that he doesn't become a lap dog...because he may grow to be 120 pounds....at which point, I can't cuddle with him like that.

He's super smart. I heard malamutes were very smart but I was shocked to see it in action. Paper training - done! (I'm sure there will be some accidents though) I think I gave him too much new food mixed in with his old, or the flight got to him, or he was stressed leaving his mom & litter mates....take your pick, but he got sick last night....and he used the training pads. He also stole my shirt that I threw on the floor while I was showering. I'm not quite sure what that was about....but it made me laugh.

I read you are not supposed to crate train and paper train, but I need him to stay in his crate while I'm gone and I can't take him outside just yet. He had his second parvo shot, but I'm waiting the 7-10 days to make sure it's effective. I heard that his breed is susceptible to parvo, so in truth he may never be fully protected. And I've heard that this village has parvo. Which is kinda weird because I never hear of puppies dying from it. (Don't get me started about the puppies here!) But he'll be going outside this week. I don't want anything bad to happen to him, but he needs to be outside & exercising. My tiny house isn't good for that.

Yes, I'm all about Dakota right now. But there is something else I started last week: I started running a drama club! Since I was a drama kid, I thought it would be a good place for young adults to express themselves and have fun. I had 6 girls the first time and we played an improve game, I went over the actor's tools (voice, body, gestures, etc), and we had fun. I had met with a drama coach for the state of Alaska and we put together a program that could segway into a drama class at a later date. And I started using the program, but I felt that it was too stiff. I think I'll still use his ideas but teach them as the kids are doing it. Like instead of lecturing, address the lesson as the kids experience it working on scenes. The kids want to do a play so I figure we'll work up to that. Start with some scenes, do a monologue (but as a whole group - that was the coach's idea), and play some drama games of course!

I'm feeling very blessed right now in my life. Getting a puppy who will grow up to be a giant dog is crazy....but again, every time I do something absolutely crazy, I feel content. Moving here was crazy, being so far away is crazy, bringing my cats (who are ignoring the puppy btw) here was crazy, but it's been an amazing journey. Getting Dakota feels so right!

A Harsh Truth....

I want to start off by saying, I feel slightly uncomfortable that my post today is not going to be about 9/11. On the 10th anniversary, I feel that I should be reflecting and writing a post in memory of that day, but I don't feel that I could do it justice. I was like most of the world that day....watching the news in shock and horror. I watched in fear and wanted so badly to do something. Like many of my fellow Americans, I donated blood, in hopes that I could contribute something to help. I still cry when I look at pictures of the towers....burning, falling, and then just rubble....I still cry when I hear the messages of love that went out from the victims.....I still cry when I see pictures of rescue dogs trying to find survivors...yes, even 10 years later, I still cry.


Because my stats tell me that I have readers from outside the United States, I did want you to know, that I was deeply affected that day. And I, like many people am still haunted......


But my post isn't going to be about that day. My blog is about my adventures, and life is still an adventure. Lately, we've been having some water issues. Meaning, most of this last week (including even as I write), there has been no water. It's frustrating not to have water to clean with. I do have water to drink and water to cook with if I need it, but I really want to do some laundry and shower. When the water was working, I missed my chance to do laundry....which makes me want to make some catty comment about my duplex-mate getting all of HIS laundry done.....but I will refrain (cause that statement alone was catty). 


Anyways, right now is a hard time to live here. The water makes it annoying but life is still manageable. But some of my colleagues are struggling with the harsh realities of life and that makes it tough. 


I really do like it out here. I love the people. I love the raw beauty of nature. I love living the simple life. I love get-togethers where people talk and laugh...yeah, there's some venting, but you get it out and you laugh about it. 


I really understand that it's hard out here, I really do. And some people just can't hack it out here. Some would never want to ever try. And I don't blame them. Cause even when there's water, power, internet, and working phones - life is tough.


I haven't really talked about the harshness on my blog....I've hinted about it. I wanted my blog to be a reflection of my life....which for the most part is positive. I am a positive person. But I feel like people have come out to be a bush teacher, who never should have (and those are the ones who don't stay)....or they should have been more prepared. 


So here are the facts: 1) this is a dry village - meaning there is no drinking allowed 2) there are a lot of drunks (bootleggers bring in a lot of booze) 3) drinking is part of the symptom of a bigger cycle of abuse (in my opinion - so it's not actually a fact) 4) there are drugs present in the village as well 5) there are a lot of children (not all children mind you) who are affected by alcohol, drugs, and abuse 6) there is a high suicide rate among young people


Here are some of the ways children are affected: *children may have been born with fetal alcohol affects or syndrome *children may be in a house where drinking, violence, etc is going on (where school is THE safe place) *children maybe the victims of abuse or neglect *children maybe experimenting with alcohol, drugs, huffing, etc. themselves


What does this mean for a teacher? Well, your classroom may look like many students are suffering from ADHD and/or are emotionally disturbed. And here's the big issue: if you as a teacher are unprepared to handle that.....you will fail. You will fail and blame the kids, the community, and even the school itself. And that my friends, is the harsh truth. 


The truly sad thing is that it doesn't have to be like that. Life out here is hard enough without adding to it. I am by no means perfect, and I still struggle with certain behaviors. But I don't struggle all the time. And here's my secret: Robert MacKenzie and his book: Setting Limits in the Classroom. He came to Benicia Unified School District for an inservice and he changed my classroom. I heard him speak and I read his book and that's all it took. 


My second year teaching was my first time teaching second grade. I had two students who were challenging me: one was affected by alcohol and the other was emotionally disturbed. I was trying everything I knew....and nothing was working. I started trying his techniques....and they worked. I am not struggling anymore with discipline like I was. Teaching is still a challenge sometimes and kids still test me, but it's not bleeding me dry or burning me out. And I don't take it personally. 


In fact, this week I experienced one if not the most gratifying moment I've ever had as a teacher: I was working with my 3rd graders for reading, and we were reading a very dry play. It was a challenging read, and I expected it to be a slow, slow process. One of my students was a struggling reader last year, but he/she always volunteered to read aloud. Something I never discouraged and just helped him/her along. Well, the same student this year volunteers to read a large part of the play and of course I let them. I was totally taken aback when the student didn't need my help with the words...in fact, I looked around the room and all the students were following along (even those who's parts were over!!!) and they were reading with expression & emotion....it was perfect. It was better than I hoped for. It was like anything you would expect happening in any classroom in America. And it was something that people have said can't happen here. 


Life out here is what you make it. It can be horrible. It can be fun. It can be beautiful. It can be dirty. It can be draining. It can be fulfilling. There can be laughter. There can be tears. There can be laughter through the tears. It can be all of that at once hitting you in the face. Life out here can knock you down. But life out here can also pick you up. Life here in Akiak can be the greatest adventure you've ever known, and make you so glad you came......it's all up to you......


BTW: I decided to change my dog's name to Dakota....I should be getting him next weekend!!!


And here's my aerogarden before I harvested.....

Poems

There have been two times in the last couple of years where something inspired me to write a poem. I posted one of those on Facebook, but I thought I'd post both of them here:


"come dance with me!"
said the rainbow girl to the gray cloud boy.


"i cannot." said the gray could boy.
as must a cloud boy say.


"come run and play with me!"
said the rainbow girl to the gray cloud boy.


"i cannot." said the gray cloud boy.
as must a cloud boy say.


"come sit with me!"
said the rainbow girl to the gray cloud boy.


"i cannot." said the gray cloud boy.
as must a cloud boy say.


"then say goodbye to me."
said the rainbow girl to the gray cloud boy.


"i cannot." said the gray cloud boy.
as he watched the rainbow fade away.....


The next poem I wrote this week. I had heard my ex was up to his old tricks, and so I was inspired to write. Only after I wrote this did I find out that yes, there was a new girl but she was fully aware of everything and didn't care. Idiots of the world, UNITE! But whatever. 


news I half expected,
news I half foresaw,
though my heart's protected,
anger is my fatal flaw.


news ignored by some,
news I wish were different,
cause out of this only pain will come,
not for me, but someone new,
reminding me that my part's through.

I'm in Love!

If you're my friend on Facebook, then you already know what this post is about: I got puppy! His name is Diesel and he's an Alaskan Malamute. He's still too young to leave his mommy, so I will be getting him either on or around the 17th. Here's his picture:

He's gonna be a big boy. After reading about malamutes, I realized that I could train and raise this baby boy into a wonderful dog. I am so excited about getting him. I have a bunch of pictures of him, but I haven't met him yet in person. They will end up shipping him to me. I'll be picking him up in Bethel.

I have a couple of fears though...one small and one rather large one: 1) the stuff I ordered for him won't come in on time (or at least the food I ordered) and 2) parvo is in the village and my baby boy won't have all his shots yet. I ordered his shots (or rather a coworker who raises puppies ordered it for me) but I've decided for his protection, he's going to have to stay inside for a few weeks until he gets the second batch of his shots. I'm going to use training pads and take him out in the mud room (artic porch), that way he learns not to go in the house. But I am nervous. I hope everything goes okay.

I've pretty much had puppy on the brain most of this week. I think next weekend I'll move my cats' food & water and start getting them ready for some upcoming changes.

My cat, Daisy, has just gotten over my moving her into a new house. She tends to hold grudges. It took her almost 6 months to forgive me for getting Lola. So I can just imagine her being very mad at me for getting a puppy. But I'm hoping her anger won't last too long.

This next week I have two inservices. It's moose season and most of the boys & men will be hunting. So they close the school for a few days. One group of teachers from another village will be coming to Akiak for the day. One of those teachers is one of my very favorite people. He's hilarious. So I'm hoping to have a lot of fun on that day.

And here's a picture of my Aerogarden today. I'm surprised how fast the plants are growing. So enjoy! Until next week......

First Full Week - Done!

So we had our first full week of school. And I fell asleep cuddling with my kitties around 6:30 p.m. on Friday night and I stayed down for the rest of the night. I guess I was tired!

So the big thing on my mind: I want to get a dog. I know two cats is plenty of pets. And I'm sure many people know me as a cat lady (shudder & cringe) but actually, I grew up with dogs. I volunteered with a pit bull rescue group for several years in the Bay Area. I don't actually get cats....I'm really good with dogs. But I went walking with another teacher and her dog and a bunch of kids came out and walked with us. I really enjoyed that. I don't have anyone to walk with and when it's up to me, I'd rather not go. I think a dog would get me out more. I also live alone. Thankfully, I share the duplex with a male who has a dog and weapons. I'm not afraid for my safety, but I might be next year.

This would also be a great time to get a puppy. I would have to get a puppy so he/she can grow up with my cats. But my little complex area has a lot of dogs. More so than last year. This would be a great way to socialize my puppy. And I always planned on settling down, getting married, having a family, and then getting dog. I have to ask myself....what am I waiting for? I can afford a dog. I can train a dog. I have a good life going. If not now, when? True, vet care would be difficult but not impossible. I would just have to make an effort.

So what kind of dog do I want? Not a dog from Akiak. I want a dog who's already had his shots, and I want to know who the parents are. My good friends the Millers have lost both dogs they adopted from the village (one of them being the first puppy I rescued). One dog was too aggressive and was attacking children and the other just got sick and died the next day. I don't want that. I want to stack the deck in my favor as much as possible. So, there it is. More to follow I hope.

I wrote earlier about my Aerogarden and book clubs. Both are going well. I am actually growing plants (see the picture)....although, they aren't looking as healthy as I hoped. I caught Lola, my naughty kitty, smacking them down with her paw, so I think I know why they look kinda funny.....

I've been reading a lot. I am reading two books at a time. One for my book club and the other for me. I am seriously in love with the site Goodreads. It's fantastic. If you are a reader, seriously check it out. I like that I am reading books that I would not have thought to read. My book club tends to go for the Young Adult books out there, but we are from all over the world and I think they are getting away from that.

This week I went to two different community feeds. A community feed is just what it sounds. One family makes food for the whole village. Families do this to celebrate birthdays and when someone passes. I went to two birthday ones. My teacher friends had a community feed at their house just yesterday. Check out her blog at the right of my page. She goes into detail about how much food she had to cook. It's a lot of food. I tried caribou for the first time and tried 4 different kinds of agut'aq (eskimo ice cream).....agut'aq is made with berries, crisco, sugar, and sometimes mashed potatoes & white fish....I found it was the berries that I didn't care for....straight from the bush and very tart! I tried: high bush cranberries, blueberries, cabbage, and white fish agut'aq. The cabbage one tasted a bit like cole slaw. There were soups there too, but after I left the first one I found out it was beaver soup. I wish I had tried some beaver. The caribou meat was yummy. I went a whole year without trying new foods and there I go trying new stuff in one week.

School is going well. My two reading groups are going well. I find I do miss teaching math. Math was when I got to be a bit more silly in my teaching methods. But I am taking time to read aloud to my students (both groups) and I have fun acting out the books. I had taken classes in Benicia about using these icons to promote a higher level thinking (blooms taxonomy) for reading and I have been using them here in Akiak. And wouldn't you know it, just talking about Goldilocks & the 3 Bears brought on some great discussions!

So that's it for me. Life isn't too exciting right now, which means I'm due for a shake up pretty soon. I am really looking forward to winter coming. I bought a new parka since the zipper on my old one broke. My new one is purple. Yay! I'm tempted to buy some new boots too. I don't need them, but they are fabulous looking. I still love my gray ones from Sorel, but there's another pair.....so tempting!!

And They're Off!

So school started this past week. I have 11 students, 2 boys & 9 girls. I can already tell that I'm going to have a great year with my little guys. I am also the reading teacher for 3rd grade, so I get to keep working with my sweethearts from last year too. It feels like I'm playing hooky by not teaching math. It's a very weird feeling....like I'm forgetting something.

By the way: my aerogarden is totally sprouting! I CAN grow something besides mold! Yay me! I'm growing baby greens, salad greens, and romaine lettuce. I've noticed that my house is smelling fresher too. But the setup is pretty easy. I never did get that $50 refunded, but I have a plan to order the replacement bulbs....I'm going to send them to my mother's and pick them up when I'm there for winter break. So haha aerogarden people!

So I had a little trouble this week. And rather than go into the specifics, I'm just going to say this: In teacher books, they warn you to stay out of the staff room. This is because the staff room is a known place where teachers complain. And no offense, but we are a complainy bunch when we get together sometimes. I have no problem venting, but when it comes to problems, I think of Ed Harris in Apollo 13, "Let's work the problem, people."

And over the years, I've realized that not everyone wants to fix the problem. They are more content to complain about it. And that's true with other problems not involving teaching. I wonder if it's because in order to fix a problem, you have to actually work on fixing it. It's easier to just complain and sometimes even to just give up.

In my little Lara World, problems do exist, but they have to be fixed. I will read whatever book I need to....I will ask whoever I need to....I will try whatever I have to.....I make lists, I talk it out....but I need to be working on it. I had one job at a video rental place where I tried everything I could think of to make Sunday mornings run smoother. I got in trouble every Sunday. Too many movies weren't put back....so the next Sunday, I'd focus on putting the movies away. The lines were too long......so the next Sunday, I'd focus on customers....and then, of course, the movies would back up. I finally realized after I quit that I should have said, "I can't do this with just two people. Give me more help!!!" But I tried everything I could do to make it work. I'm like that with my classroom.

Sometimes, we get so involved in the "what's not working" that we don't stop to appreciate what is working. My class is a sweet class. They ALL want to try. They will have their moments, sure, but I'll be ready. They asked me, "Will you love us more than Miss Q***** did?" (My roommate last year.) My response? "Are you kidding? I'll love you even more!"

The bumps on the road are just bumps....let's not focus on those and look up past the road.....cause it's an amazing view!

3....2....1: Happy New School Year!!!

Thursday is the first day of school. My school year has officially begun. It started last week in Anchorage at my inservice. The inservice went well. I think people are starting to get to know me....which is nice.

I wasn't in a really mood to shop, but that was fine. Since I had been living in the village, I didn't need very much. So that was non-eventful.

There was one awkward moment...I ran into my ex-boyfriend. Or rather I would have if I hadn't turned around and ran down the hall. Yeah, I am so smooth......ah well.

Last year, on my way home I got stuck in Bethel the first night. So I arrive in Bethel and find that once again, the planes aren't flying. But this year, I have a friend with a boat. So I was not stuck in Bethel. Ha ha! This past weekend, all the teachers have been coming to Akiak. I have spent the majority of the last three months being the only teacher in my little circle of teacher houses. Now I have to get used to the sounds of my neighbors.

I went for a little walk today showing one of the new teachers around. Akiak is pretty much a circle with roads that run parallel through the circle. It's easy once you get the hang of it. It's odd that I'm the more experienced teacher here....it's nice to be helpful and to be respected like that.

During the inservice, I had to facilitate a group. I just followed the guidelines but I was surprised by the praise I got later. As hard as it is to live out here sometimes, this experience continues to bring out the best in me. But I still want to do more.....I've made friends with some women and sometimes I hear about their pain. I feel helpless....I would so like to help the women here realize just how strong and amazing they truly are. Sometimes I feel like all I can do is just be positive.

I feel that way with my students too. The obstacles they face in life are more than I ever had. And they keep going, they keep living, they keep loving, and they even keep laughing. There is a strength that flows through the village that would totally push away the dark things if people realized just how strong they are.

Rural Alaska makes you tough. I'm tougher than I was.....but I don't think I'm harder. It's a harsh world but there's still a gentleness. Life is more difficult here but the bonds of friendship are deep and you really aren't alone. People really do try to take care of you and they go out of their way to be helpful. There's so much beauty here....you just have to be open to it.

Yes, I love being out here. Life makes sense to me. Seeing my ex brought up all the pain again....but it really helps to be somewhere where I feel needed, valued, and liked. As much as Akiak needs someone like me right now, I need Akiak too.

Comin' Round the Bend.....

Hello, hello, hello!

I decided a new year needs a new look! And even though I posted yesterday, I decided to write about a couple new things I have coming up:

1) I joined an on-line bookclub. I have always wanted to join a bookclub and decided it was time! Plus, I like hearing about different books that I wouldn't normally read. I have been reading a lot of vampire books and am kind of ready to move away from that. It seems the books with the most buzz around them are books for Young Adults. Hopefully, this bookclub will vary in their book choices. I have my kindle and can download books out here in the bush via my computer, so I'm ready to read Wolfsangel....I really recommend the book site...it's called goodreads.com & you can add all the books you've read & read what people have to say about them.

2) I am going to try to grow some salad seeds. I just ordered an aerogarden, which is supposed to be easy to grow things in. I sure would like to have fresh lettuce & you can grow romaine leaves & those are my favorite for salads. They have all these kits, you can grow tomatoes, flowers, herbs, & veggies. It's a container (mine will be about the size of a coffeemaker) that has a light attached and the base has the spots for the seeds (see picture - mine is would be the small one except it's white). Once mine comes in, I will be sure to post pictures of what it looks like and if anything actually grows. I do not have a green thumb. I once bought a herb kit you had to just water & cover...I followed the directions but the only thing I grew was mold.

The one thing that was not cool is that despite the site offering free shipping, I was charged a "non-domestic" P.O. Box delivery. So I wrote the company & asked for a refund stating two reasons 1) the free shipping offer and 2) domestic means "not foreign" and Alaska is part of the Unite States. And since it was almost a $50 shipping fee. I hope they refund me the money. I'll let you know what happens.

So that's it! We'll see how this all turns out! I officially start my school year on Tuesday in Anchorage. Next week is when school actually starts. Fingers crossed!

Went Ha, Ha, Ha....All the Way to Bethel

As I begin my Year 2 in Alaska, I was wondering, would there still be adventures? Would there be anything new to post on my blog? Would life still be exciting enough to warrant writing about it? Hmmmmm...

I knew I wouldn't get many responses from my last post. I think posts of a personal nature make people uncomfortable. My reason for writing about it, was that it was an experience that I would grow from. Not a fun or exciting adventure, but an adventure for me nonetheless. At the end of my journey, I wanted to have a fair representation of all that shaped me, including some things that would make people uncomfortable....and trust me, if you were uncomfortable reading it, it was no walk in the park living it!

So I finally got internet installed in my house....which is how I am able to write this in my living room instead of having to walk to the school. Yay for me!

I was suposed to be working in my classroom, but one day they were putting up SmartBoards and all the boxes kinda defeated the purpose of cleaning up. And then I decided to soak up as much laziness as I could in my last remaining days of my vacation! And then I was asked if I would like to go to Bethel on a boat with Captain J to pick up my friend MM. There would be time for a little shopping and then we'd come back. I thought "Sure!"

We were going to leave at 6 p.m. yesterday, but it was so windy Captain J moved the time to 5:30. No worries. I walked down to the river and stopped.....

Boy, did that river seem angry....

The water was very choppy and there were actual swells. I guess a couple of teachers loading the boat were concerned about my ice road trip where I got so sick, and wondering if I could make it during this one. (If you aren't familiar with my ice road adventure, please click here.) I knew I would be fine....because I was going to be on a boat, not inclosed in a vehicle. True, the boat was a covered boat, but I wasn't worried.

And I was wondering if I would still have adventures! Oh my!

I swear we hit wave after wave! We would ride up on the top of the swell, stay there for a couple more then come slamming back down! And the water would hit the metal boat with a ginormous SMACK sound. And there were many times we would hit HARD. Captain J would have to slow down to 1.8 miles an hour, she tried taking the waves sideways....waves of water would splash onto the front of the boat (we were inclosed) and the boat would smack down....we were rolling with the waves....but man, it was rough! We were going against the wind almost the whole time.

And for some reason, I found this whole ride hilarious! Not only was I having the time of my life, I thought it was so funny. I laughed the whole way. I wasn't scared....I mean I braced myself for many hits and I held on to dear life, but I didn't feel like I was in any danger. It was just funny to me.

We made it to Bethel and I had just enough time to shop for some groceries before MM met us at the boat. We warned her about the conditions on the river. We knew it wouldn't be anything like the ride to Bethel because going back we'd be going with the wind. But MM was prepared for the ride.

It was like boating on a different river. For most of the trip, the river was calm & oh so peaceful. There were a couple of bumps and MM was groaning on a couple of them, but I was telling her, "What? This is nothing!" I felt so hardcore. The way back was like sailing for babies.....I experienced the hard stuff.

But then we hit one patch of choppy water. And I started laughing again. Then everyone else was laughing (probably laughing at me but whatever) and we were having a good old time.

Once we got back to Akiak, MM invited me over to her house for dinner and since she had brought back pizza, you know I was there! We watched a movie and MM & I played with a baby she was babysitting.

I woke up today and I am sore! My back, shoulders, & neck are sore from the bouncing in the boat....and my sides are sore too...but I think that's from all the laughing....

In answer to my earlier questions, oh yes, there will be plenty more adventures to come. Life up here is far from boring!!

Coming Soon to a Theater Near You!

I realized last night that my life would make a terrific Reese Witherspoon movie trailer:

Picture this:

*Reese moves away to a remote area of Alaska
*Reese starts teaching and loves it

and if that's not a movie all to itself, there's more!

*Reese meets a man and things get very romantic
*Reese finds out he's a lying, cheating dog and breaks up with him
*Reese picks herself up moves on

The next part of the movie isn't written yet, as I'm still working on that one. But I can definitely see that last part with some peppy "go get 'em" soundtrack playing.

Except, I don't see Reese being a good choice to play me....maybe Sandra Bullock. I do think Reese could pull me off though.

I also realized that when I try to deal with questions about my life or have something I'm trying to work out in my brain, I always turn to books. When I first got a cat, I bought a book & subscribed to Cat Fancy. Then when I felt I finally understood cats (or realized I never would) I gave that magazine up. When I survived the Great Breakup years ago (my personal BIG ONE), I bought a book about heartbreak. And it helped.

I have countless teaching books, a few books about diet & exercise, and several historical books.....you get the idea.

So when faced with my current issue of "how the heck did I not see this coming????", I started reading a new book. It's called "When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People Who Have Two Relationships". It's helped me for two reasons.....1) My ex's type of cheating isn't listed in here, thereby affirming my suspicions that he is not a good person and 2) it's helped me see that I really did see the signs and ignored them.

Granted, that's not what the book's about. The book was written for the reader to be having an affair. There's a few points that I don't agree with (by the way: for some fabulous reading check out the reviews for this book on amazon....some of the best reviews I have EVER read!!) but it has helped me accept my own responsibilities. I know, it's shocking that I'm not perfect, but there you have it. It lists elements that are essential in a relationship and safety (trust) is one of them. And I ignored my gut. I knew something was off, but I made excuses. I really should have ended things a long time ago. And truthfully, I never really trusted him.

Ahhhh....but what did I just do? Shoulda......shoulda, woulda, coulda.....

And now, it's live & learn time. It's time to let it go & move on. I'll never forget, because it was a valuable lesson for me, but I don't need to dwell on it. Also, it was a humbling lesson that I can be wrong if I don't trust myself. It's kind of a weird sensation to be half right and half wrong at the same time. A part of me knew he wasn't right for me....and even with a couple of little things. He didn't care for Star Wars. That right there is a big thing for me. I'm a total sci-fi geek and I'll need a boyfriend who will enjoy Star Wars every now & then. But it's not just Star Wars.....there's Star Trek, too. And Terminator.....one of my favorite most romantic scenes comes from Terminator (C'mon "I came back for you Sarah Connor." that's soo romantic!!).

But I digress.....oh but that was a fun little ride!

Anyways, it's also funny given my need for reading books that when I did come out here, I hardly read anything at all. I didn't read any blogs or books. I did read a lot on the ATP (Alaska's Teacher Placement) website. But I kinda have enjoyed not doing a whole lot of reading about living here. I've just been living here. Sometimes I think it's a good thing to put the book down & go out & LIVE life. At least I know when I get stuck with something or need to think things out, there will always be a book written about it!

How to Make Family Visits an Adventure....

Bring someone who's never been to your hometown before!

So tonight's my last night in California for the next few months. I'll be back during the holidays. This was a good visit...filled with theme park visits (okay one), trips to the city, factory tours, hanging out with friends & family, visit to a movie studio (Pixar!!!), going through most of my stuff in storage, and a tattoo.....

I got a tattoo....the stars on the Alaskan state flag. It's the most delicate looking of my 7 tattoos. I love it!

The time flew by! This has been my longest trip to California but it's been fun. Normally, I just hang out with family & friends & shop, but this time I got to enjoy the sites and fun activities the Bay Area have to offer.

Oh....and there were sunburns....did I mention I got totally sunburned? Once while just driving around? Where was my sunblock? Right next to me in case I needed it. I obviously need to work on my judgement involving skin care and the sun's rays....good to know. I see a strapless dress is in order for the plane ride home....ouch!

Sister really enjoyed herself here. She's hoping I oversleep and we miss our flight. And since I have been guilty of oversleeping twice during the course of our stay.....it's a real possibility. And she's not even secretly hoping, she's made it clear that if I do oversleep, she's gonna let just keep on sleeping!

I have noticed something. I thought Alaska would make me stronger and tougher. And it has, but I also thought I would start looking tougher....and be less girlie. But I find myself buying more pink. And this is the tote I am bringing home:



Yeah, I dance to the beat of a different drummer....and he's slightly off beat.

Here are some pictures of my trip: Enjoy!!!