What Miss Ruark Knew.....

This is the story of alcohol, people making bad choices, and assuming too much.

The first thing you need to know is the village I taught in is called a "dry village" because it is illegal to have alcohol in the village. People smuggle it in, bootleg style ala Al Capone, but you aren't supposed to have it or drink it. A teacher getting caught with alcohol could face legal consequences which could have an effect on their teaching credential in Alaska.

Being that I'm not a big drinker, I made the choice before I moved to Alaska that since I was there to teach, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my career. It wasn't that important to me to begin with. It just didn't seem worth it.

So I spent my time in my village not drinking. I knew other teachers who drank but as long as they weren't hurting students, it didn't bother me. I didn't think it was any of my business anyways.

So now comes the story...

I was flying home one time and another teacher from my village was on the plane with me. And she was drunkety, drunk, drunk. Like sloppy drunk. Like trying to kiss the bush pilot drunk. It was annoying.

But she was just my coworker, not my friend. So I decided not to try to rescue her or take care of her. She was able to walk (albeit crookedly) and she was just loud and obnoxious. She didn't really need my help anyways.

But she slipped and told me that she was sneaking in a bottle of Jack Daniels for another teacher, XX. 

Now, XX was also not my friend. I actually was so indifferent to his existence that I have since forgotten what his real name is. Or what he taught. Or what his face looked like. I really did not care what XX was doing in his house. 

Not my circus, not my monkeys, right?

But then I did something kinda stupid. I was complaining to a friend of mine at a training one night (she lived in the village next to us) about how annoying it was flying with the drunk lady. It was super late and I was tired so instead of going into the details, I mentioned that she had brought a bottle for someone else and was sloppy drunk. I stupidly then said, "So I guess I know all the dirt now." 

But I never said what exactly I knew. And here's where it gets interesting....because that girl repeated to a group of people (XX included) that I knew.

That's all she needed to say. 

XX freaked out that I knew about the bottle....he assumed I knew about the MANY other bottles and parties at his house. So he came to confront me, just to make sure that I didn't repeat to anyone else about the bottles & parties.

Me: "Well, I know you don't know me very well but I would never jeopardize someone's career and I didn't know all that to begin with."

Their friend came to confront me because she heard I knew about her drinking beer at her house and then listed all the other teachers over the years who were drinking and even a couple who brewed their own beer and I better not tell anyone. And since I had told my "friend" all about what I knew, I obviously couldn't be trusted.

Me: "Well, I know you don't know me very well but I would never jeopardize someone's career and I didn't know all that to begin with."

XX's roommate came to confront me because I knew that XX was having an affair with a married teacher and yeah, he didn't approve of it either and warned them that it was a bad thing to do.

At this point, I was DONE. I told the guy that not only did I not know about it, I really didn't care. I may have yelled that I never knew any of the stuff that people were telling me and I wanted them to stop. I didn't want to hear anymore.

I think it was then when people realized how very little I had actually known. Oh, but I sure knew now.

They avoided me after that and if it was an attempt to snub me, it went unnoticed. They were not people I cared to be friends with. I couldn't tell you why at the time, but after they flipped out on me, I think my gut was steering me to better paths.

Thinking back though, it's kind of funny what a guilty conscience and the words, "She knows" will do to people...

Bad Advice Or Why I Have To Pay THE MAN

I am not doing very much this summer. I don't have any big trips planned.

I tell people that I have to "adult" this summer. Because that's more fun to say than: I have to save my money because I owe the IRS back taxes and it's due at the end of the summer. So, instead I say something cute and kind of trendy.

But how did this happen? How is it that I owe back taxes? I'm a single school teacher who rents. 

Oh yeah, it's cause I thought some people knew what they were talking about!

Have you ever met someone who spoke with such conviction & authority that you had an instant respect for them......only to find out later that they had absolutely no idea what they were talking about?

Yeah, that's annoying. But thankfully, I am starting to not fall for that.

Back when I was filing my 2012 taxes, I was doing them myself. Now, I was still living & teaching in Alaska at that point and I couldn't take my taxes over to a professional to have them done.

My taxes are pretty straight forward anyways. But there was one thing that was tricky.

Since I had no say in where I lived in Akiak (the school district was my landlord and determined what house I stayed at AND who I lived with) I fell under the category of "Forced Housing". Which meant that my rent was tax deductible. 

Yay, right? Except that it's a pretty rare occurrence and not handy on any tax form. So I asked other teachers where they had put in the rent amount. 

They said, "Oh, you just do _______________." (I'm NOT posting what they said.)

I asked, "Really? That's it?"

I was told by several people, "I've done that for years and never had a problem." Then they looked at me like I was stupid for even questioning if they were correct.

Okay, so that's what I did. I submitted my taxes and everything was fine. Who was I to question those smarter than me? 

The next two returns, I went to a professional and everything was fine.

Except, a few months ago, I received a letter saying that my 2012 taxes were wrong and I owed thousands of dollars. 

And I saw on Facebook that many of my Alaskan friends had received similar letters.

To quote Lord of the Rings: ....but they were all of them deceived...

Okay, that was a bit dramatic. But bottom line: the advice didn't come from a tax expert. And it was bad advice.

I wrote the IRS and told them why I didn't owe them thousands of dollars.

And they agreed.....for the most part. They say I still owe $700. 

Could I fight it? Maybe. I could hire a tax attorney. I could go to a professional. Or I can be grateful that it's no longer thousands of dollars and just pay it.

And that's what I have decided to do. Chalk it up to the next time I want tax advice, you'd better be a professional. 

Although, part of me wants to submit a bill to the people who gave me the advice....but one of them is in jail waiting trial for abusing his adopted children, so I don't really want his money anyways.

My advice: there's a lot of bad advice out there, and if someone has to put you down to prove their point, maybe it's not the best advice after all. 

Leaving California

Greetings all!

I have been thinking about what I really want out of life...and the time has come for me to write. I am starting to gather my stories about my life in Alaska. Some of those stories, are already here on my blog but some have never been written. I am posting the first story which is about my leaving California to Alaska. 

I would love to have your feedback. It's long, about 5 pages. But my idea is to one day bring these stories together in a book. This would be the first chapter.

Leaving California

What would make a person leave all the comforts of society, their friends and family to trek over 3,000 miles, to a land isolated and wild?

That question has been asked countless times throughout history. There are many different answers, many different reasons. However, I can only give you my answer to that question…and it’s not just one reason. Nor is it very complicated.

The one thing I always wanted to be growing up was something special. My biggest fear was that I would end up boring. I didn’t know how I was going to achieve this life of mine, but I lived with the mantra: “Don’t be boring.”

My 2 kitties

And yet, somehow, I found myself at 33 years old being boring. My life was stagnant. My long term boyfriend had replaced me with a younger, skinnier, more complacent model; my demanding mother was making me feel guilty almost daily if I didn’t help her take care of my baby niece because she had a bad back and lacked the energy; I had lost my best friend over a falling out involving her attachment to my ex-boyfriend; and the only thing going right in my life was my career as a teacher at my local elementary school.

Because my ex-boyfriend of 10+ years hated to travel, I had not been on an airplane in 10 years. I never went anywhere. Even my weekend trips to visit my grandparents brought on feelings of guilt for leaving my two cats alone by themselves. I was sure I would find them strangled in the blinds when I returned.

I was miserable, overweight, and the worst of it all was that my life was boring. I was two issues of a cat magazine away from being a sad middle aged, single woman cliché of a crazy cat lady.

Then, the bottom dropped out from under me. The economy in California in 2010 was horrible. And for a public school teacher, it was worse. Teachers were getting laid off by the thousands. I received a “pink slip”. This was a letter saying that at this time, the district could not guarantee that I would have a teaching job for the next school year. It was a scary time for many of us.

I don’t remember the exact moment it popped into my head that I wasn’t tied down to California. I remember joking with one of my colleagues and the school secretary about moving away to Alaska (which had always been a secret fantasy of mine, moving off some place wild & crazy) when they were teasing me that it was a horrible idea. The thing was, the reasons they were giving me weren’t turning me away.

Here are the reasons they told me Alaska wasn’t a good idea:

     1)   It was cold. I actually hate the heat. I loved the idea of moving some place with snow.

     2)   It was dark. Saying this to a night owl is not going to dissuade them. I never minded the dark. I always had more energy at night anyways.

   3)   There were mostly men there. Well, saying this to a newly single woman afraid of becoming a crazy cat lady was making Alaska sound pretty good. Plus, I had just found out one of the PTA parents had started telling people I was a lesbian, which would be fine except that I wasn’t. Trust me, if I were a lesbian, I’d be quite proud about it.

Now that the idea was in my head, I wondered how feasible would it be for me to actually go up to Alaska to teach? I knew that most states would accept my teaching license; California was known to be one of the good states. I needed more information.

After a few Internet searches, I had learned that teachers were the number one migrant workers in the state of Alaska. It would be very easy to switch over my California teaching license to Alaska. There was actually a whole website devoted to helping teachers find jobs in Alaska (Alaska Teacher Placement or ATP). The site offered information about teaching in rural villages, or in the bush as it was known, along with information about teaching in cities, known as teaching on the road system. There was a message board where you could ask questions from teachers who had traveled up there. There were lectures and videos about what to expect. There were even job fairs in several different states.

It’s a delightful feeling when you realize “Hey, I actually could do this.” Because this crazy idea I had about leaving my stagnant, pathetic world behind and do something wild and unthinkable could really happen. The only thing holding me back was me.

I decided to check out a job fair. There was a job fair in Seattle and one in Anchorage. I decided that before I would move to a new state, I at least wanted to spend at least 24 hours there. I signed up for Anchorage, booked my flight & my hotel.

My 1st view of Alaska

Keep in mind that I hadn’t traveled in 10 years. In everyone’s eyes, this was so completely out of character for me. People asked me who was going to pick me up (a taxi), how would I know where to go (the job fair was at the hotel), and what was going to happen if I needed help? (I’d ask for it?)

People didn’t understand that this wasn’t out of character for me. I was letting people hold me back and for the first time in my life, I was letting go and doing something that felt right for me. I was being true to what I wanted and taking one step closer to who I wanted to become.

That being said, I am not a stupid woman. I researched and made a cheat sheet of every district in the state of Alaska. I had index cards held together with a metal ring listing: where in Alaska the district was, if it was rural, if it paid well, and if the teacher housing had water & electricity and if I would consider teaching there.

I knew that some districts were more dangerous than others. I decided that I didn’t want my lack of knowledge/experience with the weather to kill me. Any place where I had to chop my own wood to survive was not going to work for me. I needed a community of other teachers. I wanted my house to have plumbing but I was on the fence as to whether or not I wanted a roommate.

Armed with my resume, teacher portfolio, and my district cards, I arrived in Anchorage for the job fair. The flights went fine and the taxi ride was smooth. The mountains in Alaska took my breath away. I had never seen a place more beautiful. There was snow on the ground but the locals weren’t even wearing coats. I thought that was odd. Weren’t they cold?

My only mistake was something no one had told me. In California, if it is cold outside then you should wear a sweater because of the drafts, even when indoors. In Alaska, there are no drafts. I was dressed too warmly and I was hot most of the trip. (And for the record, I didn’t wear a sweater during my years in Alaska at all.)

I had to submit my fingerprints before I could get hired to teach. So, I found a place that would do my fingerprints in Anchorage, and then I hopped on a bus hoping to save some money. Now, I look back and am impressed with the guts it took me to get on that bus. Not used to traveling, and certainly not used to taking buses, I met each activity with the determination that everything was going to be fine. And it was.

View from my hotel room

Actually, I was treated with so much kindness from the locals. The woman at the fingerprint place looked up the bus schedule for me to make sure I got back okay. I was digging out my change for the bus when the driver waved me to never mind and just have a seat. I was short some dollars at the hotel store and the girl behind the counter waved me off and gave me a discounted price. I went back and paid her what I owed her and dug the rest of my change out of my pocket for the bus driver but still I was impressed. Another thing that struck me, was whenever someone got off the bus, they all thanked the driver. People weren’t just faceless entities in Alaska. We were all people trying to make our way and were treated as such.

I was liking Alaska.

It was time for the job fair. I walked around to look at the districts that were there. I had so wanted to apply to Juneau or Anchorage…but Anchorage was only looking for Special Ed teachers or high school math…and Juneau wasn’t even there. In fact, none of the districts on the road system were there…only districts from the bush.

I wouldn’t find out until years later that I had been mislead. Job fairs for Alaska were really only for the bush (rural) districts. The other districts are so sought out by the great candidates that they didn’t start looking for teachers until the end of May and/or June. And this had been April. That’s one of the secrets no one mentions, most likely to get people like me to come out.

But at that time, I knew nothing of this. I didn’t know that if I waited, I could have interviewed with those more desirable districts. I really believed that fate was guiding me to a village in the bush. So, I pulled out my cards and submitted my resume to the districts that fitted my requirements.

Out of those districts, I had 3 job interviews that day. I had met a couple who used to work in one of those districts who tried to warn me that the district I had just interviewed with was the worst district in the state of Alaska, but I thought it was tacky to bad mouth your old district, so I ignored them. It turns out to have been the district I chose and they were absolutely correct but for different reasons than they had said anyways.

Anchorage, Alaska

Of those 3 interviews, I received 2 job offers. Right after the first offer came through, I also got a letter from my current district saying that I had my job back for next year with them. I now had to choose between staying in California or moving to an Alaskan village, 400 miles from Anchorage on the Kuskokwim River, accessible by either boat or bush plane. No one wanted me to leave and I also knew that while my job was safe, each school site was going to lose one teacher. My friend, Annabelle, was going to lose her job.

But I didn’t want to stay. People warned me to take a leave of absence for a year. The idea was that if it didn’t work in Alaska, I could come back. But I knew if I had that safety net, I wouldn’t make things work if it proved difficult. I needed to not be able to come back. I needed this to work. I needed to make it work.

I threw caution to the wind, I saved my friend’s job, I stood up for myself, and I resigned after 4 years with my district. I accepted the position in Alaska. And I turned down an interview with Anchorage (wow, that would have been a completely different experience!). The HR director came up to me at a meeting and said, “Lara! What did you do!?!” I replied, “What was best for me.” Then he held out his hand and wished me well.

I was leaving my broken heart, my guilt, my fear, and my doubts behind me. I was taking my 2 cats and going out into the unknown. I had no idea what to expect. But for the first time in my life, I knew I had the smarts, the drive, and the courage to find out what fate had in store for me next. And the possibilities were endless.

Adjusting to Life in the Lower 48

It's been almost a year since I packed up and left Akiak. And that's hard for me to believe but it is the truth. I miss my friends in Alaska. I miss the cold. I miss the midnight sun. I miss a lot of things but I gained a lot leaving as well. I get to spend time with my niece again. My house (rented) is large enough to entertain my friends and family. I have my own furniture and car. Life is pretty sweet for me. It's interesting to note that it took me spending 3 years in Akiak to recognize how good I really have it.

The adjusting was hard. I had to have some things spelled out for me. But I thought I would take a moment to reflect on how I had to adjust:

*Reverse Culture Shock
Being around groups of people was too much for me to handle. I've always been an introvert (meaning I recharge myself with alone time) but I went into a "hermit mode". I couldn't bring myself to go to parties or events. I guess you could call it social anxiety, except that there wasn't any fear, I simple had no desire to go anywhere. It all seemed exhausting. I am better now, and am starting to get out more, but it took me several months before the desire to hang out at Starbucks ever hit me. I was perfectly content to stay at home.

*Forgetting I Could Run to the Store
This was simple enough. I started to get halfway through my bag of dog food when panic set in....."Oh no, I better order some quick!" In Akiak, it would take me a month to get dog food through the mail. Now, I live 3 minutes away from a pet food store that carries his special dog food, and it's open 7 days a week. But it was little things like that, that took some getting used to. I had to lose that sense of urgency. 

Also, if the office staff told me that my order would take a bit, I thought in terms of months, not days. Luckily for me, the office staff was very patient with me.

*Behavior at School
Now, this was a big one for me. After years of tolerating horrific behavior (I was cussed at repeatedly, kids would throw things in the class, one time my student sat in the hallway and yelled some sexually graphic things about me in front of my principal - who ignored it at the time, and I was even struck once by a student), I had become numb to poor behavior like rolling around on the carpet instead of going to your seat. I had also been told for years to ignore bad behavior and just praise good behavior and to not send kids to the office. 

So, my new (new to me) principal walks in and sees a student rolling around on the carpet and says to me, "Oh no. We do NOT tolerate that kind of behavior here." She gave me permission to be strict with them. And she had to tell me. Once she did, I was able to set the expectations I had lost the last few years and my students stopped with the nonsense and I was able to practice good classroom management again. I pretty much had to relearn what good classroom management was all over again. 

I don't blame the kids in Akiak. They behave the way that they are allowed to. I blame the leadership who gave me very little support in the classroom. I was on my own and just had to make it through the day. And when you spend years like this, even if good leadership was brought in, it would take time to change things.

My principal here in California made my adjustment so much easier. Once she recognized that I was used to operating on very little support, she made a point to tell me that I always had hers. And she sought me out to tell me this. I don't think I would have done well without her support, and that is the truth. She didn't see these things as a weakness, and make me feel like a bad teacher. She guided me and then praised me. And when I needed her help with a student, she was on it. 

I watched many teachers in Alaska struggle with classroom behaviors only to have their administrator turn it on them. The idea was, if they were better teachers, there wouldn't be any problems in the classroom. I was once "dinged" by a "leader" for getting on a student first thing in the morning. I was supposed to be saying hello (which I did regularly) and being pleasant (which I am pleasant). But on that day, a student was trying to climb on a doorframe and I gave him a dirty look to stop him (which it did). Bad on Miss Ruark.

*Safety
Drunk people in Akiak can be dangerous. It wasn't always safe for me to be out at night. Now, I can walk my dog around the block at midnight and no one is out, except maybe for a fellow dog walker. I feel pretty safe in my house. (A giant dog doesn't hurt either.)

There is one thing that I just can't do. It's silly and I know it, but I can't bring myself to leave a hide-a-key outside. 

You see, my house had been broken into by someone with a key (he was employed by my school district). He was drunk, lonely, and wanted to talk to me. He made past several doors into my building but didn't come in my actual living space. I talked with him through the door while frantically calling my neighbor to come out and scare him off. Which he did and the guy ran off. 

Afterwards, I beefed up my home security and vowed to never let anyone else be in charge of my safety. But I have some serious trust issues when it comes to keys. I tried to put out a hide-a-key but after 5 minutes, I ran and brought it back in the house. My family and best friend has a key. If I ever get locked out, I will just rely on one of them to help me out.

This past year has been a blessing in many ways: I got a job right away with my old school, I found a great place to live through Facebook of all places, and I have my family. I loved living with my brother & his family when I first moved back. I am so very grateful. I know that I am lucky. Most of my Alaskan teacher friends aren't teaching where they want to be, or they aren't teaching anymore. I don't want to be braggart, and there are of course many improvements that can be made in my life. But I am so much more appreciative to what I have now that I can recognize: Life is good. Now, I just have to work on making it better. 

And lining up a job for next year, cause this one was only temporary. My current job will be open, so I am hoping I can get rehired there. Fingers crossed!

Teaching in Alaska Part 3 AND a Rather Big Announcement

It's been a while, and for those who asked me questions, I apologize. We had our state testing and my internet has been spotty on the weekends.

I have been busy. My friends know my announcement, but I've only recently told my students, so now I can throw it out there for the world to know: I am leaving Akiak.

I am moving back to California. I have loved my experiences here in the bush, but 3 years of isolation is hard. I miss my friends and family. And I am single. I miss the possibility of a chance encounter with my own Mr. Darcy. We don't get too many strangers out here. And my animals make it hard for me to get to Anchorage.

Plus, I miss the Bay Area. San Francisco, Napa, the bay.....there's so much there that I didn't take advantage of when I lived there before. I want to soak it all up. Take Dakota hiking, maybe even try my hand at urban mushing (him pulling me on a scooter). It will be so much easier for me to leave my furbabies for a weekend trip somewhere.

The adventures are not stopping any time soon.

Getting back to California was quite an ordeal to work out. Dakota's crate is too big for the commercial jets to fit him. Unless I pay $3,200+ for cargo space or $18,000 for a private plane (and that just gets me to Washington), the only option for me is to drive him down the ALCAN to California.

So, I bought a car. A Honda CR-V, and my mother is meeting me in Anchorage. We are going to drive Dakota and my two kitties home that way. Look for that adventure mid-May!

I do not have a job in California yet, however the hiring season hasn't really started. I am hopeful and determined. It will work out.

So, now to the questions I have been asked about teaching in rural Alaska:

How do you find the weather. Does the shorter daylight cause some depression? 

The weather is extreme. However, if you bundle up, it's manageable. Teacher houses here don't have a fireplace or a wood stove, so as long as you have power and a working heater, the weather is not really bad. If you are planning on traveling at all. The weather can mess with your plans. EVERYTHING is subject to the weather on that regards.

Does the shorter daylight cause some depression?

I had an Aerogarden in my house that gave off natural light. And I had a Happy Lite. I did not get depressed. I did in February (which seems a hard month for most people) but other than that, I enjoyed the darkness. I got a kick out of the weird darkness. But the lights really do make a difference.

 You mention a lot of coaches. Would a new teacher or teacher returning to the field find a lot of mentorship there? 

At my site this year, we had two coaches, one a peer coach and another classroom coach, plus new teachers are partnered with a mentor for two years. 

Are most of the staff supportive of each other? 

I would say yes. It's really just like life. There are some people you meet you like and others you don't. I've had a very supportive year and a year that was kind of on my own. It also depends on you and how involved you want to get. When I first moved here, everyone was so helpful and supportive, it took me back. I think maybe I'm used to it, because if you have a problem, even people you don't normally talk to will jump in and help you out. 

Is it super expensive to get school supplies or professional books sent there?

Yes. It's super expensive to get anything out here. There are some tricks. Amazon Prime offers free shipping on most items, as does Walmart. If you find free shipping deals, then nab them while you can. Most companies though charge a lot to ship out to rural Alaska. I was very lucky with school supplies. My mom and a friend of mine went crazy this summer and bought a bunch of stuff and sent it up to me.  Care packages are a good way to get what you need and what you miss. Let me tell you, I've never appreciated opening a box with lined paper in it so much!

What math program do they use?

For elementary we use Every Day Math. 

So, I assume you are staying for another year?? 

I am not actually.

What are the ramifications of not making the reading progress you mentioned? 

According to the new Teacher Evaluation Tool adopted by my district, nothing this year. However, if I do not make proficient in my Student Progress section for two years in a row, then I don't remember if I would be placed on a Plan of Improvement or let go. I think I'd be let go. I have to be honest, being given an unrealistic goal was not a good feeling. Grades 3+ just have to show a year's worth of growth, and my students actually have made a year's worth of growth if not more. However, that's not a piece of my evaluation. While it wasn't a motivating factor as to my leaving, I won't miss my district evaluating me. Common sense tells me the district will have to go back and re-evaluate that piece, at least for future teacher's sake, I hope they go back and re-evaluate. They should anyways. For some of my students, they needed two years worth of growth. Yeah, that's been a thorn in my side this year.

Did you get to choose your grade level? 

I did not, however I was able to apply for a Second Grade position. If I really wanted to change grade levels, I think I could have if those positions were available. Some teachers I know have changed and others, like me, have stayed in the same grade. 

What do you do if you are sick?

Hope it's not serious. Ha ha. We have subs, but it might be someone's spouse or significant other. There are people in the community who come in. I've had some very good subs. Actually, subs like subbing for me. I'm not sick too often, but it happens. There's no real training for being a sub, and sometimes they really do just need a warm body to supervise. Like I said though, I've been lucky. I write detailed sub plans with times and next to my sub plans I have the Teacher Editions with the pages flagged and a stack of handouts labeled. I'm pretty specific about what I want and where they can find things. For example: my student readers I call: The Hardback Green Books. And I let them know which student can help with that.

On another note, I've also decided I'm not going to shut this blog down. This blog was designed for my adventures and since I plan on having more adventures (Iceland - July 2013!!!) and day trip adventures, my blog will stay. I just won't be writing about rural Alaska. Some would argue that a fresh start needs a fresh blog, but no. I've grown and changed and life around me has changed but the blog has been here.

So thank you for reading me and please, stick around....with my life, you never know what's around the corner!!!

Teaching in Rural Alaska Part 2

I had some questions from a couple of my readers in the last post. Yay! So, I thought I'd take a moments and answer those questions first.

What do you find most rewarding working in Akiak?

Hands down, it's working with the kids. I have really great relationships with most of the kids and we have a lot of fun together. But at the same time, I'm not their friend, I'm their teacher. Which is a hard balance to maintain, especially when I'm friends with their families and older siblings. But I put a lot of work into establishing a good relationship with them and it pays off.

This year has been challenging. And the district is just using a reading fluency test as my example of student growth. Which doesn't sound bad, except they are only looking for who is proficient at a 2nd grade level. And several of my students came into my classroom still confusing their letter sounds. So if you were to look at my results....I'm not getting any. But the other day, one of those same students went over to the classroom library and pulled out The Lorax by Dr. Seuss. She sat down and began reading the book to herself out loud. Successfully reading it. And I found myself stopping, and realizing...my kids have come really far. I felt like a teacher. My test scores will say I didn't do my job, but that test score doesn't show the growth my students have really made.

Over the last 3 years, I have laughed so hard with them. We've danced. One little first grader (who is now one of my 3rd graders) taught me how to 2 Step at a fiddle. They've been so loving and I constantly get love notes and drawings. I was surprised at Valentine's Day getting a stuffed bear for the first time in my life. There's so much love there. And so much laughter. They are the most rewarding thing about working here.

What is the most frustrating?

I've thought about this question a lot. I think the most frustrating thing is that everything is so much harder here. From the basic necessitates like: power, water, heat, and sewage going out, to getting your groceries, to having a social life, to getting school supplies & materials...never mind actually the teaching part, which is challenging onto itself. 

Teaching here has been the hardest gig I've ever had. Even jobs I've hated weren't as difficult. I think it's been worth it, but make no mistake...it's hard.

I don't really want to nit pick all the challenges, because I feel like that would be too negative. But it really is every aspect of my life is harder. Keep in mind, I'm an urban girl. I never cooked before or lived in snow. I became a teacher in the town I grew up in. In fact, I taught right next to my high school. I never liked camping because it seemed to me like a lot of work. 

So why did I move out here to begin with, right? Maybe if I was used to some of the lifestyle, everything wouldn't be so hard. And some things aren't hard anymore...just annoying. Like losing water. There was no water in the village on Sunday. Akiak ran out. I've learned over the years to always keep some on hand. And to jump up and fill some buckets when I hear the water alarm. I've also learned how to manage with no heat in subzero temperatures as well (if you have power, turn on the oven). 

I've learned how to handle the difficulties and I've learned to let the little stuff go. Like traveling. I just plan on getting stuck. I've been stuck in Anchorage and Bethel. I've learned how to sleep in an airplane terminal and how to freshen up. I've even learned how to make a honey bucket that's easy to clean up. 

The isolation is hard. But it's really my own fault. Kinda. I wasn't able to visit California because of my animals. I didn't have anyone who could watch them. And I didn't think I could bring them all to California. So I stayed in Akiak for all of July....then August...and then I went to Anchorage for a few days to visit my mother. But I stayed here for Winter break to save money. And spring break. I was planning an Anchorage visit to buy a car. But I'm not doing that anymore. So come May, I will have been in Akiak almost a full year with only leaving for 2 weekends. That's too much isolation for me. I wouldn't recommend that to anyone. Even the natives have gotten out more than me. So I think someone could manage the isolation in chunks....11 months is too much. 

2 cats and a giant dog make life hard to travel, and at one point, I was the only teacher left in Akiak.

And as far as why the teaching part is hard.....It's hard to be a teacher here. Some don't last the year. Most of the students here are traumatized for something or another. There's a lot of drinking and violence happening in some of the homes and the kids see it if not are victims of the violence. 

I will give you an example: a few months ago, a guy got drunk and set fire to a house with several people still in the house. Members of the village rushed to put out the fire. The community came together very quickly. (There's no fire department.) The fire was put out and the people trapped inside were able to escape. The next day, a bunch of kids told me about it. It was a big deal and the kids were worked up about it. Which is understandable, the community helped out, so naturally the kids would know about it. But they all know there were people trapped inside. What a terrifying experience for everyone involved!!! 

So, it's hard but if you are able to see the beauty and the laughter, the hardships don't have to define your time in rural Alaska. But sometimes it's easy to get stuck on what's hard than what's fun. But I think that's a statement about life in general. 

How much time did they give you to decide once they offered you a contract?

I'll keep this one short and sweet. I had 30 days to sign my contract. 

Do you live in the same house each year?

I've lived in this house for 2 years now. You can move around here but you can also stay put. I moved to a smaller house so I could live alone. The roommate situation really affects where you live. And sometimes, if a nicer house opens up, it might be worth grabbing. Some people don't want to go through the hassle of moving as well. It really depends on the availability.

Do you have to live with a roommate?

In my district, you may have to. Other districts may have enough teacher housing. My first year out, I was assigned a roommate. Whereas, two other single women got to live alone that same year. One year, it was the choice between hiring a male or a female for the same job and based on who the roommate could be determined who got the job. Sounds messed up, but they didn't want to hire someone they couldn't provide housing for and they don't make members of the opposite sex be roommates. 

I prefer to live alone. My house isn't as nice as my last one. The floor is ripped up and there's still nails from the carpet that someone pried up. Someone painted the walls without protecting the floors, so there's dried paint all around the edges of the bedroom. The walls are painted plywood and there's random nails left behind by previous tenants. But it's too small of a place to assign a roommate to me. So I am able to live alone. And my house is warm and cozy. And I live alone. Yes, I said that twice. But I live alone. 

Remember, I essentially live with my coworkers. I socialize with them. They've watched Dakota grow up from a little (ahem, maybe not so little) puppy. They hear stories of my life. They know I don't get up on the weekends before noon. They've all seen me in my pjs....some of them have even seen me in my towel wrap. Before I moved up here, I made it a point that none of my coworkers saw me without makeup or knew my sleeping habits. Now, my Literacy Leader knows she can call me if she sees Dakota outside because she knows I won't sleep as long as he's outside. My co-workers know me too well. 

And my roommate knew even more intimate details about my life. I guess I'm just one of those people who prefer a little distance between work and home. I don't want my coworkers to see me at my worst, and I want the freedom to be at my worst when I'm in the privacy of my own home. 

I like to swear. I find a lot of offensive stuff funny. But I want to preserve that image of me being a lady in public. I was watching something that I found too vulgar at times at my house...but most of it was funny (Mr. Plinkett's Star Wars reviews) so I kept watching it. And then I heard our classroom management coach outside my door talking to my duplexmate. I hope he didn't overhear some of the stuff being said! I would be horrified! But it was pretty funny, so I just turned it down.

There's a story of a teacher coming out and insisting that she live alone because her husband was planning on visiting her. So they gave her a house all to herself until her husband could join her. But then the husband was never mentioned again. EVER. Did he ever exist? I dunno. It's a mystery. I joked that I should get married just so I can live alone. Instead, I just took a teeny tiny little house. And then I filled it with a Giant Alaskan Malamute (accidentally mind you). Go figure!

I guess the bottom line as to roommates is: it depends on the housing needs and who's coming back and who's new.....

So this concludes Part 2. I will write a Part 3 because there's still some tips and hints I can add. But this one's pretty long...

If you would like to ask a question, I will be happy to answer it! Or feel free to leave a comment too....

Teaching in Rural Alaska Part 1

Greetings! It's that time of year again, where districts start posting jobs and the hiring process for rural Alaska is about to begin. The 3 year anniversary of my attending the Anchorage job fair will be in a few weeks.

I wanted to talk about some things a teacher might encounter when teaching in the bush. Now, some of this may be things I've said before, but I have to admit, I've sugar-coated some of my experiences. I don't intend to write everything down in one sitting so this will take more than one post. 

Please note that I can only speak from my experience and I have only lived in one village.

The biggest issue I faced was in the beginning. Before I left, the head of HR of my last district had come up to me after I dropped off my letter of resignation. Several people in the district (admin included) were trying to talk me into requesting a leave of absence. It was a good idea, one that meant I could take a year off and then come back. But I knew the best thing for me was to cut my safety net. If I had my job in California waiting for me, I would never have tried so hard to make it work in Alaska. I knew myself. So when I resigned, it came as quite a surprise to people. The head of HR came up to me and asked, "Miss Ruark, what did you do?" I told him that I did what was best for me. He smiled and shook my hand.

Once I had arrived in Akiak, it was like nothing I had ever known. I was a city girl who had only traveled to other cities. London, New York, San Francisco.....and Reno....never anywhere rural. As my culture shock reverberated through my body, I had his words running through my head. "What did you do?" Except it was in my own voice. The houses looked different, they looked like they were up on stilts and the buildings all looked similar. There was no two story buildings anywhere. The road was dirt and I had already noticed on the bush plane over that Akiak really was in the middle of the tundra. 

The Main Road

My new bedroom was the size of a prison cell and it had no door (there was a bigger room that had already been claimed by my roommate). The windows of my house were boarded up. There were new sounds, new sights, familiar sounds were gone (cars, jets, sirens, sprinklers), and the animals looked wild. I don't know if I have ever admitted before that I struggled HARD that first night. I was asking myself if I had made a mistake coming out there.

AHHHH! But I had no job to go back to. So I awoke the next morning with new determination. This was going to work because it had to. And here I sit, 3 years later. Well, you know what I mean. 

My 1st Bedroom

*Culture Shock

Yeah, it happens. But you can move beyond it easily enough. For me, not only did cutting my safety net help, but so did finding something familiar. The kids. I had fun with the kids. And it wasn't until I started interacting with them that I felt myself relax and I felt normal. I thought I'd have to turn into a super outdoorsy girl who liked to rough it. Naw, I still prefer room service or a fire pit. I've cut fish but I still prefer my fish out of can. 

*Head Lice

So, in my village several of the kids have head lice. Some people even believe that head lice helps prevent sickness in children. The first misconception I've heard teachers (who are no longer here) make is that it means the kids are dirty if they have lice. That's not true. Head lice prefer clean heads. The eggs stay on the shaft better if the hair is clean. 

I've seen teachers treat the kids who have head lice like a leper. One teacher (no longer here) told her students they couldn't play with another student. And she'd hug some kids but not the one who had the head lice. There's no need for cruelty. Head lice can be easily taken care of in one evening. My roommate got head lice and I thought I had gotten it too. But that was before I got to know the little buggers and now I'm not so sure. I had just dyed my hair a darker color and so I think it was dyed skin we were actually scrapping off. 

Ladies - wear your hair up. I still hug kids. I haven't gotten it. And I also use a preventative spray (It's called Fairy Tales) that I spray in my hair. Another thing that keeps head lice away (and kills it if you do get lice) is to dye your hair. Hair dye is actually not as harsh as a head lice treatment. Although, you'll want one of those on hand. Especially get one with a spray for furniture. Remember, it's heat and extreme cold that kill lice...pillows can go in the dryer or left outside in a baggy overnight during the winter. But the spray works for couches and chairs. 

I recommend this product!

If you see a louse in a child's hair, please don't freak out. I've been talking to kids before when I saw a louse walk through their hair. And it's not the child's fault, so be gentle. One student of mine kept getting nits (which doesn't qualify a child to get sent home, only live bugs) in her beautiful long hair. So the parents chopped it off. I've had a little girl with a shaved head before. I never comment on it, and once a girl got her hair chopped for lice, she wore a hat for 3 months, and I let her.

My take on head lice is: you can't be scared of it. If you do get head lice, it's not the end of the world, you can get rid of it. But there are products you can purchase that can help prevent it. And I would also suggest buying a metal nit comb...for those times your head is itching and you just want to be sure....just writing this has got my head itching something fierce. 

A Metal Nit Picker

*Watch Out for Negative Nellys

Before I moved to Akiak, a villager had gotten drunk and broke into several teacher's houses - trashing them and stealing their clothes. I believe it was an "off his medications" incident and that was actually pretty rare. 

Well, one teacher (who's no longer there) had told several of us newbies of the incident. And told us to WATCH OUT! Because it was a message for new teachers telling us we were not welcome. And we were told this in Anchorage before we officially moved out there. 

Now, let's stop and think. The houses in question were already being lived in, hence the clothing. So, if it was actually a message to new teachers, wouldn't the damage had been to new teachers houses? Instead of returning teachers? And is the message: I'll break into your house & come out wearing your clothes? 

My point of this story is to say that some people will tell you the most negative things: Your district doesn't care about you or the kids. You're house will explode in the winter if you have a leak in your pipes (one of my personal faves). All Alaskan Natives hate white teachers. None of these kids can learn. Every one's always drunk. Every husband beats his wife. No kid will like you. It doesn't matter what you do, cause there's no use trying. And every year I hear: it's gonna flood.

There's always someone who is completely negative. It's harder to deal with in the bush because there are so few of us and when you are new, you want to get as much advice as possible. It's hard to weed out the BS versus the real advice. 

So here's my tips: avoid believing statements that are actually generalizations. Words like "ALL" or "EVERY" tend to be dead giveaways that you may not be able to trust what you are about to hear. 

Use some common sense: like the house exploding (seriously, that was a warning), really stop and think about what they are saying. My logic was if that were in fact true, wouldn't there be remnants of houses that actually did explode? 

My advice is to find someone who the kids really respect. Find someone who seems to be having a good life out here. That's what I did. Not only did I gain valuable insight into my families, but I got to know them so much better through my mentor. Look for someone who's making it work. Not someone suffering through it. Misery loves company and someone may just be trying to suck you in!!

*FAS

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome - when a mother drinks while pregnant and the baby is born with birth defects. Some kids may not be full FAS, they might just have moderate symptoms. The state of Alaska requires all teachers (read that again please: ALL TEACHERS) to take mandated training on FAS and it's symptoms. Why would a state do that if the numbers of students in the public school system with FAS related symptoms weren't incredibly high? 

State-wide, the numbers are high. Now, just because there's no diagnosis, does not mean you won't see some alcohol related effects in your students. Many times, it will look like ADHD, kids will need more breaks, and sometimes a student actually cannot remember what you taught them the day before. It literally left their brain. It's not that the student is trying, the student may really be doing the best that he

/she can be.

Okay, I am not going to delve into FAS. I just want to point it out. You will take training on how to teach students with FAS if you come to Alaska. All teachers have to. And there is a reason. And don't worry, the training will go over tips for your classroom far better than I could anyways. 

To Be Continued......

(Note to self: mosquitoes, dogs/dog yards, winter gear, shopping)

****If you have any questions you would like answered, please leave them in my comment box and I will address them in Part 2*****