Adjusting to Life in the Lower 48

It's been almost a year since I packed up and left Akiak. And that's hard for me to believe but it is the truth. I miss my friends in Alaska. I miss the cold. I miss the midnight sun. I miss a lot of things but I gained a lot leaving as well. I get to spend time with my niece again. My house (rented) is large enough to entertain my friends and family. I have my own furniture and car. Life is pretty sweet for me. It's interesting to note that it took me spending 3 years in Akiak to recognize how good I really have it.

The adjusting was hard. I had to have some things spelled out for me. But I thought I would take a moment to reflect on how I had to adjust:

*Reverse Culture Shock
Being around groups of people was too much for me to handle. I've always been an introvert (meaning I recharge myself with alone time) but I went into a "hermit mode". I couldn't bring myself to go to parties or events. I guess you could call it social anxiety, except that there wasn't any fear, I simple had no desire to go anywhere. It all seemed exhausting. I am better now, and am starting to get out more, but it took me several months before the desire to hang out at Starbucks ever hit me. I was perfectly content to stay at home.

*Forgetting I Could Run to the Store
This was simple enough. I started to get halfway through my bag of dog food when panic set in....."Oh no, I better order some quick!" In Akiak, it would take me a month to get dog food through the mail. Now, I live 3 minutes away from a pet food store that carries his special dog food, and it's open 7 days a week. But it was little things like that, that took some getting used to. I had to lose that sense of urgency. 

Also, if the office staff told me that my order would take a bit, I thought in terms of months, not days. Luckily for me, the office staff was very patient with me.

*Behavior at School
Now, this was a big one for me. After years of tolerating horrific behavior (I was cussed at repeatedly, kids would throw things in the class, one time my student sat in the hallway and yelled some sexually graphic things about me in front of my principal - who ignored it at the time, and I was even struck once by a student), I had become numb to poor behavior like rolling around on the carpet instead of going to your seat. I had also been told for years to ignore bad behavior and just praise good behavior and to not send kids to the office. 

So, my new (new to me) principal walks in and sees a student rolling around on the carpet and says to me, "Oh no. We do NOT tolerate that kind of behavior here." She gave me permission to be strict with them. And she had to tell me. Once she did, I was able to set the expectations I had lost the last few years and my students stopped with the nonsense and I was able to practice good classroom management again. I pretty much had to relearn what good classroom management was all over again. 

I don't blame the kids in Akiak. They behave the way that they are allowed to. I blame the leadership who gave me very little support in the classroom. I was on my own and just had to make it through the day. And when you spend years like this, even if good leadership was brought in, it would take time to change things.

My principal here in California made my adjustment so much easier. Once she recognized that I was used to operating on very little support, she made a point to tell me that I always had hers. And she sought me out to tell me this. I don't think I would have done well without her support, and that is the truth. She didn't see these things as a weakness, and make me feel like a bad teacher. She guided me and then praised me. And when I needed her help with a student, she was on it. 

I watched many teachers in Alaska struggle with classroom behaviors only to have their administrator turn it on them. The idea was, if they were better teachers, there wouldn't be any problems in the classroom. I was once "dinged" by a "leader" for getting on a student first thing in the morning. I was supposed to be saying hello (which I did regularly) and being pleasant (which I am pleasant). But on that day, a student was trying to climb on a doorframe and I gave him a dirty look to stop him (which it did). Bad on Miss Ruark.

*Safety
Drunk people in Akiak can be dangerous. It wasn't always safe for me to be out at night. Now, I can walk my dog around the block at midnight and no one is out, except maybe for a fellow dog walker. I feel pretty safe in my house. (A giant dog doesn't hurt either.)

There is one thing that I just can't do. It's silly and I know it, but I can't bring myself to leave a hide-a-key outside. 

You see, my house had been broken into by someone with a key (he was employed by my school district). He was drunk, lonely, and wanted to talk to me. He made past several doors into my building but didn't come in my actual living space. I talked with him through the door while frantically calling my neighbor to come out and scare him off. Which he did and the guy ran off. 

Afterwards, I beefed up my home security and vowed to never let anyone else be in charge of my safety. But I have some serious trust issues when it comes to keys. I tried to put out a hide-a-key but after 5 minutes, I ran and brought it back in the house. My family and best friend has a key. If I ever get locked out, I will just rely on one of them to help me out.

This past year has been a blessing in many ways: I got a job right away with my old school, I found a great place to live through Facebook of all places, and I have my family. I loved living with my brother & his family when I first moved back. I am so very grateful. I know that I am lucky. Most of my Alaskan teacher friends aren't teaching where they want to be, or they aren't teaching anymore. I don't want to be braggart, and there are of course many improvements that can be made in my life. But I am so much more appreciative to what I have now that I can recognize: Life is good. Now, I just have to work on making it better. 

And lining up a job for next year, cause this one was only temporary. My current job will be open, so I am hoping I can get rehired there. Fingers crossed!