Travel: The Hows & The Why

On a helicopter ride outside of Anchorage, Alaska

Why travel the world?

My first reason for traveling is simply that I wanted to see beautiful sights for myself. It wasn't enough to see Iceland through pictures or movies filmed there. I wanted to stand in front of these majestic sights and let my senses go wild. 

But I experienced something I hadn't counted on, which gave me more reasons to travel.

The biggest new insight I had was that outside of my little world, my body size didn't really matter. People don't look me in the face here. They see past me. It's not something I really notice until people started looking me in the face. I said in one of my videos that I thought it was a US thing, but then I went to New York City and found that sadly, it's a California thing. People acknowledge other people in the world. They look you in the eye and smile. People talk to you. I don't feel self conscious when I travel. I feel beautiful.

There's so much you can learn by experiencing another culture. Seeing how people live differently around the world is such an eye opening experience. After growing up in suburbia, seeing life in a rural community is a shock to the system or even comparing it to life in the city. 

In Central Park, NYC

As an educator, it's really changed me for the better on how I relate to children and what I think they are capable of. Here's a simple story: in New York and other cities, children show up to a basketball court with a basketball and some friends. They don't have referees or even adults watching them. In Alaska, basketball is the sport every child and adult plays. They bring a ball and show up. Again, no referees because they know the rules. So there I am at yard duty, and I'm told I really need to watch the basketball games cause they don't know what they are doing. But I don't. I glance over to check that they aren't fouling each other left and right but I don't need to watch them like a hawk. I've even given them compliments on their sportsmanship. Children all over this country play basketball. I trust the students here to do the same. If they don't, then we have a problem. 

I also realize that not everyone has the same life experience as me. It makes me less judgmental as a person. Life is not confined to my tiny bubble.

Actually, travel has increased my tiny bubble.  

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Myth: You need a lot of money to travel

I used to believe that. I surrounded my tiny house in Alaska with black & white posters from Paris, Venice, and New York. I figured that I would never go to those places because I didn't make a whole lot of money, and you need money to travel.

I dreamed of one day going to Paris. It was more than simply a bucket list item. I loved everything about Paris, the glamour, the sophistication, the elegance...etc. But my life was never heading in that direction. Or so I thought.

In Iceland

My travels started in Iceland. I had a crazy idea to just go after watching a movie filmed in Iceland. I had been saving my money for my move back to California. I decided to give myself the trip of a lifetime since I would never be able to afford something like that again. I booked my own flight, hotel, and day trips based around Reykjavik. I paid for the trip upfront. Because that's what I thought you did to travel.

I went by myself and had a great time. 

The only thing that I didn't like was I would be looking at something amazing...and I'd have the urge to turn to someone next to me and say, "Oh my god! Did you see that!?!" but strangers don't really like that....especially if you don't speak the same language.

And that was the extent of my travels. I had a really amazing adventure and I figured that was it. The highlight of my life.

Then my uncle died. He was married to my aunt who was a travel agent. My uncle left me some money. I figured I would be responsible with the money.

In front of the Trevi Fountain, Rome

Then I changed my mind. I figured what better way to honor my aunt than to see Paris. Minutes later, I booked a trip for London, Paris, and Rome. Then I called my sister-in-law and burst into tears. Because it wasn't real. I wasn't really going to Paris...but I was.

Again, I had the money.

I chose a tour group because I wanted to be with a group this time. That way, I could have a connection with my fellow travelers. Granted, I did no research into the group until after I booked with them. Turns out, they've been in the business for the last 50 years and the price was pretty good. I based it on my gut and my gut lead me in the right direction. 

But my tour group accepted payments. I didn't need the money up front. I didn't need to save up and then book. I could book the trip and then make monthly payments. 

In London

I DON'T NEED A LOT OF MONEY TO TRAVEL ~ I just need to budget the payments and set up the automatic payments. 

It was hard at first to readjust my budget but since I wanted to travel more, I had to make it a priority. So I did. That's the secret: if you want to travel, you have to make it a priority.

I booked a trip for this summer: I'm going to Paris, Venice, & Vienna. My trip will be paid off in May. It will take me about 18 months to pay it off but that's how I am able to go. A little patience goes a long way on this one. And I will be able to go on a big trip every other year.

Except next year, cause one of my big debts will be paid off in the next couple of months, so I'm celebrating with a trip to Portugal, Spain, & Morocco. Cause priorities. 

Since I'm using the same tour group, I've gotten discounts and they have a referral program! Here's the link if you wanna check them out: http://www.goaheadtours.com/account/create?referrer=c04df340-a886-4674-8d61-4a3c5389607f

So that's my hows & whys of traveling. It's taken me a bit to figure out how to make it happen, but now there's no stopping me!

In front of the Eiffel Tower, Paris

PETA Doesn't Go to Alaska

Background: Alaskans wear fur. They've been wearing fur since they crossed over the land bridge from Asia & Russian. You can't even bat an eye at it because there's a whole rich history of Alaskan Natives and hunting, sewing parkas, etc. It's a subsistence way of life up there and it's not for the "politically correct".

This story is about fur....or rather about my attempt to sew rabbit fur baby booties. 

First of all, being immersed in a new culture is somewhat intimidating. I was going to title this story: The Whitest White Chick in the Room but I decided the PETA title better suited this specific story. 

I went to Akiak wanting to learn about the Yup'ik culture. I knew that there was a long history of white teachers coming to teach Alaskan Native children and expecting them to adapt to the white ways. There was one story I was told of a woman who's teacher use to make them wipe their feet every morning before coming into the classroom, not because their feet were dirty but because he told them they were removing their Yup'ik ways and to leave them behind when they walked through the door. When I met this woman, I expected her to be much older than just 20 years my senior. 

I didn't want that for my students. I was NOT going to be that person. I was not that kind of white teacher.

**Side note: did it matter that I was white? Yes. I looked different than my students. Not just my skin color but my hazel eyes were something that brought on a lot of comments. I know that many people want to see past race and it shouldn't matter what color my skin is, but when you go to a place, where people who look like you mistreated a group of people because they weren't like you, it makes you very conscious of your skin color. There is a lot of mistrust of white teachers in that area. And I'll tell you something truly frightening: in my new teacher orientation for Akiak: two white teachers there ended up being accused of sexual abuse. One was accused by his own daughter, and the other from several female students in the village. So as much as we want to say, "Hey, don't blame me for the sins of the past!" all I can do is let my actions and respect shine through because I still saw teachers using their white privilege (sadly, even more than those two really bad ones) to put native children down.**

I was going to be as respectful as I could be and be open to new adventures. But I would be true to myself at the same time. I was told that I should be quiet and reserved because that was expected of women. Well, I'm loud and quite a talker so that was out. I later realized that was bad advice anyways. Humans want people to be themselves and not pretend to be anybody else.   

So, back to my story:

I was invited to a sewing group where we would be sewing rabbit fur baby booties. This was amazing! A chance for me to learn some domestic skills! I didn't know anyone who was going to have a baby to give the booties too but that didn't matter. 

Before I left for Alaska, I had become a vegetarian. I knew that it was going to be pretty ridiculous to try and maintain that kind of lifestyle so I had given it up. But I did find some irony in that fact when I got to choose my rabbit pelt. It was already skinned and treated (you can send away for pelts already to work on) so it needed to be cut into the pattern for the booties.

You use a knife or a razor blade to cut the pelt after you trace it. You were suppose to make little cuts and the goal was not to lose the rabbit fur off the skin. You wanted as little amount of fur coming off as possible.

Our instructor told us this and looked around. She nodded at several of the other ladies as they brushed off the few rabbit hairs that come off of the pelt. 

Then she looked at me.

Me, who was covered in rabbit fur. It was all in my lap, my sleeves, in my hair, eyelashes, and it kept trying to blow in my mouth with I talked. I kept having to blow/spit the fur out as ladylike as possible. 

A couple of the little girls in the room kept coming over to me in attempts to brush the rabbit fur off. They had never seen so much fur come off of a skin before. They were giggling as they shook their head's at me. 

Then the principal's wife had to leave early because the fur coming off of me got on her and she started having an allergic reaction to it. There was just so much of it. 

Probably didn't help that I thought the whole thing was hysterical. 

Or maybe it did.

I think it did leave an impression on the women that night. It would not be the first time they'd be shaking their heads at me. (Like the time I didn't want to sew the hem on the sleeves of the shirt I sewed so I stapled them instead. Olinka busted me for that one.) 

Whitest white chick in the room.

That's me.

What Miss Ruark Knew.....

This is the story of alcohol, people making bad choices, and assuming too much.

The first thing you need to know is the village I taught in is called a "dry village" because it is illegal to have alcohol in the village. People smuggle it in, bootleg style ala Al Capone, but you aren't supposed to have it or drink it. A teacher getting caught with alcohol could face legal consequences which could have an effect on their teaching credential in Alaska.

Being that I'm not a big drinker, I made the choice before I moved to Alaska that since I was there to teach, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my career. It wasn't that important to me to begin with. It just didn't seem worth it.

So I spent my time in my village not drinking. I knew other teachers who drank but as long as they weren't hurting students, it didn't bother me. I didn't think it was any of my business anyways.

So now comes the story...

I was flying home one time and another teacher from my village was on the plane with me. And she was drunkety, drunk, drunk. Like sloppy drunk. Like trying to kiss the bush pilot drunk. It was annoying.

But she was just my coworker, not my friend. So I decided not to try to rescue her or take care of her. She was able to walk (albeit crookedly) and she was just loud and obnoxious. She didn't really need my help anyways.

But she slipped and told me that she was sneaking in a bottle of Jack Daniels for another teacher, XX. 

Now, XX was also not my friend. I actually was so indifferent to his existence that I have since forgotten what his real name is. Or what he taught. Or what his face looked like. I really did not care what XX was doing in his house. 

Not my circus, not my monkeys, right?

But then I did something kinda stupid. I was complaining to a friend of mine at a training one night (she lived in the village next to us) about how annoying it was flying with the drunk lady. It was super late and I was tired so instead of going into the details, I mentioned that she had brought a bottle for someone else and was sloppy drunk. I stupidly then said, "So I guess I know all the dirt now." 

But I never said what exactly I knew. And here's where it gets interesting....because that girl repeated to a group of people (XX included) that I knew.

That's all she needed to say. 

XX freaked out that I knew about the bottle....he assumed I knew about the MANY other bottles and parties at his house. So he came to confront me, just to make sure that I didn't repeat to anyone else about the bottles & parties.

Me: "Well, I know you don't know me very well but I would never jeopardize someone's career and I didn't know all that to begin with."

Their friend came to confront me because she heard I knew about her drinking beer at her house and then listed all the other teachers over the years who were drinking and even a couple who brewed their own beer and I better not tell anyone. And since I had told my "friend" all about what I knew, I obviously couldn't be trusted.

Me: "Well, I know you don't know me very well but I would never jeopardize someone's career and I didn't know all that to begin with."

XX's roommate came to confront me because I knew that XX was having an affair with a married teacher and yeah, he didn't approve of it either and warned them that it was a bad thing to do.

At this point, I was DONE. I told the guy that not only did I not know about it, I really didn't care. I may have yelled that I never knew any of the stuff that people were telling me and I wanted them to stop. I didn't want to hear anymore.

I think it was then when people realized how very little I had actually known. Oh, but I sure knew now.

They avoided me after that and if it was an attempt to snub me, it went unnoticed. They were not people I cared to be friends with. I couldn't tell you why at the time, but after they flipped out on me, I think my gut was steering me to better paths.

Thinking back though, it's kind of funny what a guilty conscience and the words, "She knows" will do to people...

Glory Days

My 1st time on a bush plane

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, when he said to me: "I don't know why you don't talk more about your Alaskan adventures. If I was you, I'd be mentioning it every 3rd sentence."

Oh, I have my reasons.

I know people who have done amazing things in this world. And they have amazing stories to tell. But some of them really only have that one amazing story. Which they continue to tell, many times....just...that...one....story.

And that's not what I want. 

My 1st boat ride to Bethel

I don't want my glory days to be when I spent 3 years teaching in rural Alaska, driving down the Alaska Highway and then leaving for Iceland alone a month later. Because as awesome as that is....I don't want that to be my crowning achievement. I don't want that to be my one story.

Which then begs the question: What do I want then?

Oh my gosh! So many things!

But more importantly, what am I doing about it?

Because I'm finding that wanting & wishing for things aren't enough. You have to go out and make things happen. 

My 1st experience living in snow (modeling my new boots)

So here are some changes in my life that are coming around the bend:

Writing: I really want to write. But not about my life. I want to write fiction, so I plan on devoting more time to writing and not just trying to blog more.

My 1st time plucking birds

Career: One thing my experience in Alaska taught me, is that a teacher without a union backing him/her can be so mistreated. I was bullied, threatened, mistreated, and unfairly assessed by my administration in Alaska. I decided "Never Again" and have become more involved in my local teacher's union. There's a backlash against unions right now, that is really unfair to workers. Because corporations aren't after their worker's best interests, and when left alone, they will mistreat people. I've seen that first hand. I like the idea of standing up for people and helping them, being a voice for those in need. 

My 1st time on the tundra

Business: I became a Distributor for It Works! a little while ago. I used to sell bags and I liked that for a time but I am not a big party person. And that's the big thing for selling the bags, you have to have parties to increase your sales. So I took a break from that. I was using the It Works! products as a customer and I decided to try selling them. I really liked the business model It Works! uses (I actually have a business degree before I got into teaching) and I have been really impressed with how well I have been doing with this. And I don't need to do parties to be successful. And the product is consumable so my clients will need more at some point, which is important. Because once you buy a bag that lasts forever, well....there's only so many bags you need. Plus, I really stand behind the products. (For compliance purposes, I am not allowed to post my business links on my blog, but it doesn't say that I can't say that I am a Distributor.)

My 1st helicopter ride (pictured with my mom)

Weight Loss: Man, this is my Everest. I am determined to accomplish a major feat this year! I was down almost 30 pounds, but I put back 10 with summer vacation (I am so active during the school year that it's a hard adjustment for me.) So, I'm still 20 pounds down but I am ready to commit to my health. I don't really even talk about it anymore because it's so personal and my results are up and down. I haven't found anything that's clicked with me yet. I've noticed that when I don't eat processed foods that I see faster results. So that's important. 

My 1st very own dog (Dakota)

I'm reading Jack Canfield's book, 'The Success Principles' and that book has been very eye opening. I was feeling really bad about my weight recently and using his methods just in the beginning of the book have helped me pull myself out of a deep dark slump. 

I thought hitting rock bottom would be a number on a scale but it turns out that wasn't the case. 

Sometimes, I think there are messengers here from the universe (or what ever you believe). They help tell you the next step. Sometimes, they come in the form of actual people but in this case, I think the message from the universe came in the form of a book. Stay positive, set goals, make affirmations, & visualize your success. That's what I've been doing so far. Also, his book has really helped me zero in on what I want from life. 

And it's not to have peaked in Alaska. I've got more stories to gather. I plan to have Glory Years!

My last picture in Akiak

Enter The Year Of The Scary Age

Carrie Bradshaw from 'Sex And The City' had a scary age. This is the age where you start to feel old and you should have reached your goal of marriage & babies...or maybe just babies. In any case, when you hit your scary age, it should start a panic. They also said in the show that you'd regret not settling down by then. Like you somehow wasted your life.

Her scary age was 38. I thought that sounded like a reasonable scary age, so I chose the same age. I had decided that by the age of 38, I would be fit, be a mother, own my own house, and basically have my stuff together.

Visually, here's what I pictured:

A busy but loving wife & mother

I would look polished & professional

Of course, I'd also be a dedicated teacher

My house would be lovely, clean, & organized

Now, the only thing that I have accomplished on my list was to in regard to my teaching. That's what I have been thinking anyways. Until I really started thinking about my life.

First of all, I made the conscious decision to not purchase a home. Basically, I can't afford to buy a home here. And really the only thing I could afford anywhere in the Bay Area was a fixer-upper. Despite what the trolls in 'Frozen' might sing, a fixer-upper was not what I wanted. I had no desire to keep spending my money investing in my house that may or may not be in a good area.

I found a great little 1 bedroom house locally to rent. It's way bigger than my last house in Alaska, plus, it had a hook up for my very own washing machine & dryer. And since I don't own it, I don't have to worry about the up keep. Sure, the owners may decide to sell it or send me on my way any time they wish but I am a good tenant and they are okay with my giant dog. So hopefully I can stay here a while.

Which is another huge thing. When I came up with my scary age, I never knew that I would own a Giant Alaskan Malamute. I simply can't own fancy furniture. My furnishings are functional and from Ikea. They had to be, my dog sheds a great deal and he's not the most graceful dog around. I love my furniture though....

Plenty of room for a giant dog, cat, & myself!!

What's not pictured here is the cooling mat on the floor that Dakota sleeps on every night. The bed is mostly cat territory.

I have to have things that can be washed.....regularly. Because of moments like these:

He stole the pillows & blanket off the couch

Lola will climb on anything & anywhere!

He's a goof, but who could resist that face?

Another thing that I never foresaw was my traveling. Alaska, Iceland, and even owning my own little teardrop was something I had never planned on doing. I didn't know I was so adventurous. It was never part of my plan. Am I really supposed to be regretting moments like this?

Among the Giant Redwoods with my teardrop, my dog, & my niece!!!

A helicopter tour of the glaciers outside of Anchorage, Alaska with my mom

Staying warm teaching in Akiak, Alaska

The amazing Skógafoss waterfall in Iceland

So, obviously, my 30's have been awesome! I mean, not to brag or anything, but I why would I regret any of this? I'm way happier now than when I was in my 20's actively pursuing my goals of what I thought I needed before I was 38. And I did all this single and plus sized. And bottom line: I'm not ready for marriage or kids...not right now anyways.

But there's that nagging feeling...because there's more that I want to be. I've been lazy lately. My house is cluttered and needs a vacuuming, my eating habits are improving (I've cut out soda) but no where near healthy, I don't dress professionally every day, and if I exert myself too much, I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. Oh yeah, and I've got that Pre-Diabetic diagnosis to deal with. 

So I don't like that.....but it's up to me to change it. I've decided to take these last two years of my 30s and fix things....BUT incorporate where I have been and where I am going. I want to still travel, so I will make that happen. I also want to become healthier. The laziness will have to stop. I live like I am in my 20s....and that needs to stop for health reasons. The day I find the motivation to work on something I hate (exercise & eat right) will be an amazing day indeed. I think it's going to have to be a take it one day at a time sort of thing. I have issues with that.

The last thing that bothered me was how I dress at work. I want to be the kind of teacher who looks dressed up and professional. But let's face it: I get sneezed on, I'm down on the floor working with little ones, and some days I work with paint. It's the same reason my furniture is functional....my wardrobe has to be as well. I have stepped it up though. But I do still wear jeans. If you google images of kindergarten teachers, you won't see a suit. They look lovely and clean. That's good enough for me.

But, never fear, there are still going to be days like this one, just maybe not so many of them:  

Reading in bed....

Yes, I look forward to hitting my scary age in stride. I feel like I have a clean slate. Did I have a family? No. Did I have adventures? Oh my yes. Is this it for me? Oh hell no!

I am going to enjoy these last two years of my 30s....but I have to be honest, 40 doesn't sound that bad anymore!

The Graduate

Leaving California

Greetings all!

I have been thinking about what I really want out of life...and the time has come for me to write. I am starting to gather my stories about my life in Alaska. Some of those stories, are already here on my blog but some have never been written. I am posting the first story which is about my leaving California to Alaska. 

I would love to have your feedback. It's long, about 5 pages. But my idea is to one day bring these stories together in a book. This would be the first chapter.

Leaving California

What would make a person leave all the comforts of society, their friends and family to trek over 3,000 miles, to a land isolated and wild?

That question has been asked countless times throughout history. There are many different answers, many different reasons. However, I can only give you my answer to that question…and it’s not just one reason. Nor is it very complicated.

The one thing I always wanted to be growing up was something special. My biggest fear was that I would end up boring. I didn’t know how I was going to achieve this life of mine, but I lived with the mantra: “Don’t be boring.”

My 2 kitties

And yet, somehow, I found myself at 33 years old being boring. My life was stagnant. My long term boyfriend had replaced me with a younger, skinnier, more complacent model; my demanding mother was making me feel guilty almost daily if I didn’t help her take care of my baby niece because she had a bad back and lacked the energy; I had lost my best friend over a falling out involving her attachment to my ex-boyfriend; and the only thing going right in my life was my career as a teacher at my local elementary school.

Because my ex-boyfriend of 10+ years hated to travel, I had not been on an airplane in 10 years. I never went anywhere. Even my weekend trips to visit my grandparents brought on feelings of guilt for leaving my two cats alone by themselves. I was sure I would find them strangled in the blinds when I returned.

I was miserable, overweight, and the worst of it all was that my life was boring. I was two issues of a cat magazine away from being a sad middle aged, single woman cliché of a crazy cat lady.

Then, the bottom dropped out from under me. The economy in California in 2010 was horrible. And for a public school teacher, it was worse. Teachers were getting laid off by the thousands. I received a “pink slip”. This was a letter saying that at this time, the district could not guarantee that I would have a teaching job for the next school year. It was a scary time for many of us.

I don’t remember the exact moment it popped into my head that I wasn’t tied down to California. I remember joking with one of my colleagues and the school secretary about moving away to Alaska (which had always been a secret fantasy of mine, moving off some place wild & crazy) when they were teasing me that it was a horrible idea. The thing was, the reasons they were giving me weren’t turning me away.

Here are the reasons they told me Alaska wasn’t a good idea:

     1)   It was cold. I actually hate the heat. I loved the idea of moving some place with snow.

     2)   It was dark. Saying this to a night owl is not going to dissuade them. I never minded the dark. I always had more energy at night anyways.

   3)   There were mostly men there. Well, saying this to a newly single woman afraid of becoming a crazy cat lady was making Alaska sound pretty good. Plus, I had just found out one of the PTA parents had started telling people I was a lesbian, which would be fine except that I wasn’t. Trust me, if I were a lesbian, I’d be quite proud about it.

Now that the idea was in my head, I wondered how feasible would it be for me to actually go up to Alaska to teach? I knew that most states would accept my teaching license; California was known to be one of the good states. I needed more information.

After a few Internet searches, I had learned that teachers were the number one migrant workers in the state of Alaska. It would be very easy to switch over my California teaching license to Alaska. There was actually a whole website devoted to helping teachers find jobs in Alaska (Alaska Teacher Placement or ATP). The site offered information about teaching in rural villages, or in the bush as it was known, along with information about teaching in cities, known as teaching on the road system. There was a message board where you could ask questions from teachers who had traveled up there. There were lectures and videos about what to expect. There were even job fairs in several different states.

It’s a delightful feeling when you realize “Hey, I actually could do this.” Because this crazy idea I had about leaving my stagnant, pathetic world behind and do something wild and unthinkable could really happen. The only thing holding me back was me.

I decided to check out a job fair. There was a job fair in Seattle and one in Anchorage. I decided that before I would move to a new state, I at least wanted to spend at least 24 hours there. I signed up for Anchorage, booked my flight & my hotel.

My 1st view of Alaska

Keep in mind that I hadn’t traveled in 10 years. In everyone’s eyes, this was so completely out of character for me. People asked me who was going to pick me up (a taxi), how would I know where to go (the job fair was at the hotel), and what was going to happen if I needed help? (I’d ask for it?)

People didn’t understand that this wasn’t out of character for me. I was letting people hold me back and for the first time in my life, I was letting go and doing something that felt right for me. I was being true to what I wanted and taking one step closer to who I wanted to become.

That being said, I am not a stupid woman. I researched and made a cheat sheet of every district in the state of Alaska. I had index cards held together with a metal ring listing: where in Alaska the district was, if it was rural, if it paid well, and if the teacher housing had water & electricity and if I would consider teaching there.

I knew that some districts were more dangerous than others. I decided that I didn’t want my lack of knowledge/experience with the weather to kill me. Any place where I had to chop my own wood to survive was not going to work for me. I needed a community of other teachers. I wanted my house to have plumbing but I was on the fence as to whether or not I wanted a roommate.

Armed with my resume, teacher portfolio, and my district cards, I arrived in Anchorage for the job fair. The flights went fine and the taxi ride was smooth. The mountains in Alaska took my breath away. I had never seen a place more beautiful. There was snow on the ground but the locals weren’t even wearing coats. I thought that was odd. Weren’t they cold?

My only mistake was something no one had told me. In California, if it is cold outside then you should wear a sweater because of the drafts, even when indoors. In Alaska, there are no drafts. I was dressed too warmly and I was hot most of the trip. (And for the record, I didn’t wear a sweater during my years in Alaska at all.)

I had to submit my fingerprints before I could get hired to teach. So, I found a place that would do my fingerprints in Anchorage, and then I hopped on a bus hoping to save some money. Now, I look back and am impressed with the guts it took me to get on that bus. Not used to traveling, and certainly not used to taking buses, I met each activity with the determination that everything was going to be fine. And it was.

View from my hotel room

Actually, I was treated with so much kindness from the locals. The woman at the fingerprint place looked up the bus schedule for me to make sure I got back okay. I was digging out my change for the bus when the driver waved me to never mind and just have a seat. I was short some dollars at the hotel store and the girl behind the counter waved me off and gave me a discounted price. I went back and paid her what I owed her and dug the rest of my change out of my pocket for the bus driver but still I was impressed. Another thing that struck me, was whenever someone got off the bus, they all thanked the driver. People weren’t just faceless entities in Alaska. We were all people trying to make our way and were treated as such.

I was liking Alaska.

It was time for the job fair. I walked around to look at the districts that were there. I had so wanted to apply to Juneau or Anchorage…but Anchorage was only looking for Special Ed teachers or high school math…and Juneau wasn’t even there. In fact, none of the districts on the road system were there…only districts from the bush.

I wouldn’t find out until years later that I had been mislead. Job fairs for Alaska were really only for the bush (rural) districts. The other districts are so sought out by the great candidates that they didn’t start looking for teachers until the end of May and/or June. And this had been April. That’s one of the secrets no one mentions, most likely to get people like me to come out.

But at that time, I knew nothing of this. I didn’t know that if I waited, I could have interviewed with those more desirable districts. I really believed that fate was guiding me to a village in the bush. So, I pulled out my cards and submitted my resume to the districts that fitted my requirements.

Out of those districts, I had 3 job interviews that day. I had met a couple who used to work in one of those districts who tried to warn me that the district I had just interviewed with was the worst district in the state of Alaska, but I thought it was tacky to bad mouth your old district, so I ignored them. It turns out to have been the district I chose and they were absolutely correct but for different reasons than they had said anyways.

Anchorage, Alaska

Of those 3 interviews, I received 2 job offers. Right after the first offer came through, I also got a letter from my current district saying that I had my job back for next year with them. I now had to choose between staying in California or moving to an Alaskan village, 400 miles from Anchorage on the Kuskokwim River, accessible by either boat or bush plane. No one wanted me to leave and I also knew that while my job was safe, each school site was going to lose one teacher. My friend, Annabelle, was going to lose her job.

But I didn’t want to stay. People warned me to take a leave of absence for a year. The idea was that if it didn’t work in Alaska, I could come back. But I knew if I had that safety net, I wouldn’t make things work if it proved difficult. I needed to not be able to come back. I needed this to work. I needed to make it work.

I threw caution to the wind, I saved my friend’s job, I stood up for myself, and I resigned after 4 years with my district. I accepted the position in Alaska. And I turned down an interview with Anchorage (wow, that would have been a completely different experience!). The HR director came up to me at a meeting and said, “Lara! What did you do!?!” I replied, “What was best for me.” Then he held out his hand and wished me well.

I was leaving my broken heart, my guilt, my fear, and my doubts behind me. I was taking my 2 cats and going out into the unknown. I had no idea what to expect. But for the first time in my life, I knew I had the smarts, the drive, and the courage to find out what fate had in store for me next. And the possibilities were endless.