Welcome 2013

It took me two tries to type in the right year. Well, that's gonna take some time to get used to!

So, I really did mean to write. Then then horrible shooting happened in Newtown, CT. And I couldn't write. I am a teacher. My blog is mostly about teaching in rural Alaska. My worst nightmare as a teacher had happened (actually right in the town my parents were living in when I was born) and I couldn't ignore it. I just didn't know what to say. I still don't actually. It's just so horrible. How do you respond to something like that? I thought our president did very well.

I know the push is to ban guns, assault or otherwise, and I don't know if there's only one answer. How can you prepare against something so inconceivable as what happened? I hope I will never have to go through anything that horrible.

So, I just needed some time but I did want to say something. It broke my heart. As it did many peoples across the world.

And then life goes on, as it must.

I did not go back to California for the holidays. I had wanted to save money this year because I planned on flying all my animals and me for an extended stay in the summer. Well, there's been some changes to the plan.....cause I have decided to take the opportunity for an adventure and drive down the ALCAN Highway to California. I think this will be awesome.....and of course, a month after I arrive in California, I shall be off for a week in Iceland!

This summer is going to be full of adventures! And I am so looking forward to them all! Even Dakota in California will bring smaller adventures, I'm sure.

Because my flight & hotel in Iceland is all paid for, I'm not really sure if I actually saved any money, but whatever, my flight & hotel is all paid for!!

I've taken another big step in a new direction: I have started writing about my moving up to Akiak and I hope to turn it into a book. I am writing a novel "loosely" about my adventures. Which may not be what people expect, but I want the freedom to make up certain people who represent the different choices a teacher can make up here.  I also want the freedom to do things that didn't really happen. For example, I don't plan on my main character getting carsick on the Ice Road. I think I'll just not mention it. :) But since it's in the initial phase, don't hold me to any of that!! I have already made several big changes to what I thought I wanted.

Christmas in Akiak was different. It was my first time away from my family during Christmas. My brother was able to Skype me with everyone there, and that was fun. My family is not use to Skype. Some family members spent their time watching themselves in the video...and acting things out...recreating music videos....it ended with my 5 year old niece doing some kind of interpretive dance. I still wish I was able to record it.

I hadn't been feeling very well and I had wanted to check out my students in the Christmas Program on Christmas Eve. However, I was really dizzy that day. I think my sinuses were too dried out from the medicine I had taken. But I missed the program. I've actually never seen a Christmas Program except for movies.

New Year's was interesting. At midnight, there was a big firework show. And lucky for me, I could see it from my bedroom window. A few minutes after that one ended, there was another show, and I could see that one from my bedroom window too.

At 3:30 a.m., there was another show in view of my bedroom window. That one wasn't my favorite. I was still awake but it really scared Dakota. So much so that he spent the next few hours on my bed with me, which isn't like him.

Now, as many of you know, Akiak is a dry village. It is illegal for anyone to have alcohol. That being said, the drunks these last few nights have been really loud. This morning around 6:30 a.m. there was a huge group....or just several very loud people.

I do get scared when I hear drunks outside. Especially if they are angry drunks. I get worried that one of them will get a gun and start shooting....cause it happens. When Dakota hears shooting (or fireworks) he goes to the window to try to see what the noise is....ummmm, no!! I'm trying to train him not to do that. The only time I've ever been screamed at was by a drunk who saw me walking Dakota. He was so far away that I didn't make out what he was saying about "*$%&@ teachers!" I'm sure it was something nice.

Anyways, there seems to be a party house close to mine and when I hear them, I make sure Dakota is inside where I can keep an eye on him.

I used to believe that alcohol brought out the worst traits in people that they tried to hide. Like if you were mean at heart, it would come out when you are drinking. I don't think that about Native Alaskans when they drink. It's more like a Dr. Jeckell & Mr. Hyde. I will meet the nicest kindest person, and then when they start drinking, they become completely someone else at their core. Now, you don't have to believe me, but that's just what I've seen. People who wouldn't hurt a fly can become so violent. I've read that it has to do with how Native Alaskans (and Native Americans for that matter) process sugar. For example, there are more cases of diabetes and lactose intolerance among Native people...all of that involves different kinds of sugar and how the body processes it. And I've been told, when people drink here, it's binge drinking. It's a matter of guzzling down the bottle of rottgut whiskey. I don't know how you spell rottgut, and I don't really care to look up the correct spelling of that word.

Sometimes, it feels the more I see in the world, the less I know how to help. What will make children safer in schools? How can Native alcoholics stop drinking? I don't know.

All I can do is what I do. I treat people the way I want to be treated. I label people more than I judge them. Yes, this person makes the choice to _________. Does it mean they are a bad person? I really don't know.  How can I judge them when I don't know what is going on in their mind? I don't know what makes someone drink, just like no one knows why I have my own issues.

I do wish those who need help will find the help they need. It's only 5:30 p.m.....and I hear a drunk at the party house. Or maybe she's just yelling profanities for the fun of it. Maybe I'm missing out, and I don't know it.....