Miss Ruark's Adventures: Make It Work

The other night, I experienced a moment of self-doubt. I felt “the fear”. I was talking to my mother about my road trip in May, when I started to feel nervous. Would it be easier to just fly to California? What if something bad happens on my trip?

And then, I started worrying about my trip to Iceland. What am I thinking stepping off a plane by myself in a foreign country? What if I can’t find my way around Reykjavik? What if I can’t get on a tour to see the other places I want to see? What if someone tries to mess with me? What if my trip sucks?

Then I realized, I don’t want to be a woman who doesn’t try new things because she’s scared. I want to be the kind of woman who goes off on adventures despite her nerves. I want to be the kind of woman who doesn’t let things like fear stop her.

So, I thought about my trip to Iceland. I know I can get on a sight seeing bus and discover Reykjavik without getting lost. I know I can contact tour companies and arrange a tour….or find a group I can join.

As for my road trip, I just have to know the main roads that I am taking and go from there. I ordered The Milepost, and it arrived today. It’s a guide that tells you all the stops and things to see on the Alaskan Highway. It will tell you what is available at each stop…it even gives bear warnings.

The more information I have at my disposal, the safer I shall be. And I know I can think on my feet and keep a clear head. Sadly, I know this the hard way. I once encountered a drunk man, and I’m not sure if his intent was to seduce me or rape me, but I knew I had to keep him calm and not piss him off. I was able to distract him while I called for help and he ran off. But the incident showed me that I can be calm and use my head, even with my heart pounding in my chest.

I have been told that I was brave for moving to rural Alaska. I didn’t feel brave. I felt determined. This was going to work out because it had to. Bravery had nothing to do with it. It was sheer stubbornness that pushed me through. Okay, I will let you in on a secret. A few months before I moved away, I participated in a webinar where someone listed the qualities of a successful bush teacher. Flexible, resourceful, strong, etc…and I knew I had those qualities. So I went off to Alaska because I knew I had what it takes. I knew I could do this. That helped, I was determined to make it work because I knew it could.

So when faced with “the fear”, I had to stop and think. Do I have what it takes to drive to California or to go to Iceland by myself. Yes, I can do this. Am I unwittingly putting myself in a dangerous position? I can’t plan everything, however, I have enough common sense to stay safe in a city. That applies to life. I’ll have my dog on my road trip and Reykjavik is known to be a safe city for women to travel alone. And just to be on the safe side, I will watch the movie Taken (can’t hurt).

I see some people I know who let the fear stop them. Trying something new and/or stepping into the unknown is too scary for some people. And while that’s fine for them, it’s not for me. Before I moved away, I was one of those people. I hadn’t been on an airplane in over 10 years. I had excuses. I couldn’t go traveling anywhere because of my cats. Or I said, I don’t like traveling. But Alaska has awoken my desire for adventure, my desire to see new places, and helped me realize that I am stronger than I thought I was. Things are scary but I no longer will let the fear stop me. It hasn’t stopped me in 3 years, and it’s not going to now.

My drive down to California will work out because it has too. It doesn’t have to go according to the plan (the bush has let me experience flying by the seat of my pants, thank you very much), but I will make it. I don’t feel brave, I feel determined.

Iceland will be awesome, because it already is. I want to see Viking museums, waterfalls, geysers, geometric pools, spas, and cafes. They are already there. I want to hear Icelandic being spoken and understand some words. People are already speaking Icelandic, I just have to keep learning it. I will sign up for some tours this month. I will read over my guidebooks. I will step off that plane and have a bus ready to pick me up. I have done my homework. I may not make any new friends in Iceland (I’ve heard the locals are a shy bunch) but notice my list didn’t say I wanted to make new friends. So if I do make a friend, it will be a nice surprise. A bonus you could say. And I might meet some people from other countries, you never know.

I am strong. I am determined. I don’t feel particularly brave, but that’s okay. I don’t need to be brave. I just need to make it work and have some fun in the process.