Where Everyone Knows Your Name....

I have been back in my hometown for over a year now. And I love being back to a place I know so well. It's got a nice downtown area, a marina to check out the boats, and it's close to San Francisco, Napa, and Sacramento....it's practically perfect. 

One thing that has been an adjustment was my social circle. When I moved away, I lost touch with some of my friends. And I don't blame them, because I left. I tried to talk to them every now and then but life moves on.

When I moved back, I thought I would be able to pick up those relationships and have a social life again. But that's not been the case. Some of those friendships are gone. And that's okay. We are happy to run into each other again and hope we can do it sometime again, but we aren't friends anymore.

Which brings me to the realization: it's hard to make friends when you are an adult. 

Not that I have ever really been good at making friends. Sure, I'm friendly but I really am an introvert and I seem to have some mild social anxiety. I want to go out & do things but it stresses me out. Will I be underdressed? Over dressed? Will I be able to talk to anyone? Or stand there like an idiot?

I can travel to a new place no problem...but put me in a party where I don't know anyone and I can't do it.

There was a place in town that suited me and my social quirks perfectly. It was a cafe downtown called, In The Company of Wolves. But to those of us who frequented it, it was simply "Wolves". It was right off a corner and had an old speakeasy from the 20's down below the building. The floor was sinking in the bathroom & you could see the beam that was the ceiling below coming up through the floor. I never went down into the speakeasy, but legend has it there was still the old bar below...

Wolves was a place where I could show up, sit down, and talk to someone. I never knew who would be there, but there were many regulars. We came from all walks of life, all colors, all sorts of interests, all varied opinions....and we all came to just sit and hang out for a few good hours. We didn't come for the coffee, we came for the atmosphere.

Some nights, people would bring their guitars and play on the street corner. One night, there was an Open Mic Night where one performer played the bongos, pulled down his pants, and hung from a beam in his underwear. He later stumbled back to the dive bar across the street but that performance was pretty memorable. I watched my first Family Guy episode sitting on the sidewalk there. Artists would draw & show off their art. People would read their books, drink their coffee. 

I met boyfriends, friends, and even my family members would sometimes make an appearance at Wolves. My brother even worked there for a short time. 


For someone like me, who has a hard time with big social groups, it was a safe place that I knew I would run into someone I knew & there was no pressure. I could be as laid back as I wanted/needed to be. It was so easy just to show up. Wolves was always there. I would take breaks but then I could so easily show up and pick up where I left off. 

Then, Wolves closed. And there wasn't a place like that in town anymore. There was no place I could just show up and run into people I wanted to talk to. I was on my own. I became a teacher and my life moved on.

I run into my Wolves friends from time to time. Many of us are on social media. I just saw someone last weekend that I hadn't seen in years but we've kept in touch. It was like no time had passed. 

I still miss Wolves. I miss just showing up somewhere and people knowing me. I miss talking about what seems like nothing at the time but feels so important when I look back. You never realize how it's the little moments that mean so much.

It's a computer repair shop now....but the corner the musicians used to play at is now a music store, which seems rather fitting.

I look at the building when I drive by. It seems so normal now. That corner was built on rebellion, fun, & moments of wild abandon....which the Wolves crowd did their best to continue....

How many of us have driven by that corner and remember an era that used to be? And the better question is: what era?

Note: I tried to post a picture of the logo or a pic from Wolves, but it was before the age of smart phones & I don't think I have a single picture from Wolves.....now, that's sad!!!