Weekly Reflections - Week 6

The thing is, what I've been reflecting on lately isn't a topic I really wanted to bring up on my blog. But whatever.....I can't pretend everything is rainbows & lollipops all the time.

The real focus on my reflections has to do with negativity. I have found that negativity doesn't bring anything other than more negativity. It truly contaminates everything around you, it's like a virus, killing all that is beautiful and pure.

I saw it first hand this past week. I had a bad day. My students are amazing students, but Mondays seem to be off days. And instead of doing something constructive with my time & energy, I allowed myself to feel other people's bad vibes. And it brought me down.....brought me to tears actually. Okay, maybe hormones had more to do with the tears, but I just felt all the ugliness with humanity. And in a 2 square mile town, everything is magnified....everybody knows every body's business, and not all of it is pretty. Well, no one's life is pretty....we can just hide it better in a bigger place...or ignore certain parts of town that we don't associate with.

And everything added together can make for a pretty big downer.

So I cried & whined about it. I called a friend and listed all the bad things that were happening here. I unloaded all my issues and wallowed in my pain. I spoke about my frustrations, my fears, and my hopelessness. It was a dark moment for me....

Thank goodness I vented to a guy with the sensitivity of a box of rocks because his brilliant advice was: "Then quit."

*blink* *blink* "What? What are you crazy? I love it here!"

I gotta say, men will never get it. That so wasn't even the point! BUT hearing that was exactly what I needed to pick myself up and realize what I was doing. If you focus on the negative, you will only see the negative. So I decided to throw the Emperor down the airshaft (star wars reference!!) and turn away from the darkside. (on a side note: what is the other side called? light side of the force? no clue.....) And it worked....yes, there are things here that I do consider ugly...and those same things happen in Benicia & all over the world...but I can't focus on that...I need to be Yoda to these kids....with a better sense of grammar and fashion sense....but I'll represent the good and try to steer them away from the bad.....

I'm telling you, Star Wars is so much more than a movie....and I'm gonna make some geek so happy one day.....sigh.