The Grizzly Awakens....

And with that, I mean my 4 wheeler. I have a Yamaha Grizzly 350 that's been covered up and sleeping this past winter. I haven't been driving it since the temperature dropped back in November or December. 

The Mud Spattered Grizzly

I really wanted a 4 wheeler when the snow started to melt. Every year in Akiak at this time, the area surrounding my teacher housing complex becomes a giant pond/lake. And we become an island. The other thing that happens is the snow becomes mushy underneath, so when you step down, you fall through the deep layers. And because not all the snow is melted, it also means that on the bottom of those lakes/puddles is slick ice. I have since learned to walk on ice, but that first year was terrifying. I remember one teacher sticking his head out of the window to comment on my slow, slow progression through the puddle. 

Here's a picture from my first year (2011) of the Literacy Leader demonstrating how deep the "puddle" in front of the house was:

I kid you not....

So now that the snow was melting, I really wanted to get my grizzly back up and running. The problem was that the wheels were in several inches of ice. I'm sure that there are all sorts of methods to defrost wheels in ice. My method was very effective. I waited a couple of days for the sun to thaw them out for me. And it worked nicely. Sadly, as I type this, the nice cover for the grizzly that protected it all winter is still somewhat encased in ice.

Back in November, someone wanted to use my 4 wheeler, however it was stuck in ice in another part of the complex. And instead of asking me if they could use it, they just offered to get it unstuck for me. And I was happy to let them. However, the ignition had frozen and was just stuck. So, some friends of mine helped me get the right part (help = do it for me) and then another friend helped change out the key thingy part (again, help = do it for me). So the grizzly was all set to go, but I just needed to get gas. And then the temperature dropped and I had no desire to freeze driving around. I could have because there are a lot of 4 wheelers zipping around Akiak year round, but I didn't feel like it.

But this time....this time, I dug out my grizzly myself! (And then gave up.) And today, a friend helped me (help = do it for me) get some gas. And the grizzly started right up and I was able to drive around Akiak. I even took some things to the dump!

I feel so tough driving my grizzly. Remember, I was a total city girl and a nerd. Talk to me about movies, comic books, books....I'm your gal, but outdoorsy stuff? Oh no. I didn't like camping because you couldn't shower every day. So, it was completely out of my character to move to the bush. And add a 4 wheeler/ATV/quadrunner/whatever you call it to the mix? Someone called me a free spirit the other day, and I loved it! Getting out of my comfort zone was the best thing to ever happen to me.

And driving through Akiak was so out of my comfort zone! Driving through slushy snow, packed snow and the road was not a problem. Driving through icy snow puddles was something different. I was sliding and fish tailing.....I got the hang of it, but I actually told myself out loud, "This is good for you, Lara!" And then I went through this thick, muddy mud and again I was slipping and fishtailing. And I was dragging a sled behind me with boxes for the dump. At one point, there was a lake in front of me. I was sure it was deep and I was going to flood that sled. But it was trash anyways, so why not? I was pretty mud splattered myself afterwards though.

Spattered Jacket

Kids got a big kick seeing me driving around. I remember last year, when I first bought my grizzly, I was driving it around Akiak (which is only 2 miles, so it's really not that much of a drive.) when one of my former students shouted at me, "Looking good, Ruark!" and gave me a thumbs up.

One thing did not survive the winter freeze: my stupid gas can. The spout part cracked and when I went to pour in the gas, I spilled. I need to figure out a way to get my gas into the grizzly without dumping a whole bunch of it. Gas is $6.90 a gallon. OR maybe I can ask someone to "help" me. That would work too.

Having my own vehicle gives me such a feeling of freedom and independence. Last Saturday, I wasn't able to borrow a school vehicle to load my totes & boxes up to take them to the post office to mail off. So I had to drag my 4 totes, 3 boxes, and 1 poster tube to the post office on a sled. Now, I don't have to try to borrow anything. I can take my own stuff to the post office. I don't need rides anywhere. I don't have to wait for people to bring me anything. 

While I was test driving my grizzly after his hibernation, I drove up to the airstrip and a plane was unloading their stuff. The guy waved me over because I had pulled up just as they were taking out my box of groceries. So I drove it home myself.

The Grizzly and I will soon be parting ways, as I am selling him before I leave. However, I fully plan on keeping him up and running through those puddles until I leave!

Teaching in Alaska Part 3 AND a Rather Big Announcement

It's been a while, and for those who asked me questions, I apologize. We had our state testing and my internet has been spotty on the weekends.

I have been busy. My friends know my announcement, but I've only recently told my students, so now I can throw it out there for the world to know: I am leaving Akiak.

I am moving back to California. I have loved my experiences here in the bush, but 3 years of isolation is hard. I miss my friends and family. And I am single. I miss the possibility of a chance encounter with my own Mr. Darcy. We don't get too many strangers out here. And my animals make it hard for me to get to Anchorage.

Plus, I miss the Bay Area. San Francisco, Napa, the bay.....there's so much there that I didn't take advantage of when I lived there before. I want to soak it all up. Take Dakota hiking, maybe even try my hand at urban mushing (him pulling me on a scooter). It will be so much easier for me to leave my furbabies for a weekend trip somewhere.

The adventures are not stopping any time soon.

Getting back to California was quite an ordeal to work out. Dakota's crate is too big for the commercial jets to fit him. Unless I pay $3,200+ for cargo space or $18,000 for a private plane (and that just gets me to Washington), the only option for me is to drive him down the ALCAN to California.

So, I bought a car. A Honda CR-V, and my mother is meeting me in Anchorage. We are going to drive Dakota and my two kitties home that way. Look for that adventure mid-May!

I do not have a job in California yet, however the hiring season hasn't really started. I am hopeful and determined. It will work out.

So, now to the questions I have been asked about teaching in rural Alaska:

How do you find the weather. Does the shorter daylight cause some depression? 

The weather is extreme. However, if you bundle up, it's manageable. Teacher houses here don't have a fireplace or a wood stove, so as long as you have power and a working heater, the weather is not really bad. If you are planning on traveling at all. The weather can mess with your plans. EVERYTHING is subject to the weather on that regards.

Does the shorter daylight cause some depression?

I had an Aerogarden in my house that gave off natural light. And I had a Happy Lite. I did not get depressed. I did in February (which seems a hard month for most people) but other than that, I enjoyed the darkness. I got a kick out of the weird darkness. But the lights really do make a difference.

 You mention a lot of coaches. Would a new teacher or teacher returning to the field find a lot of mentorship there? 

At my site this year, we had two coaches, one a peer coach and another classroom coach, plus new teachers are partnered with a mentor for two years. 

Are most of the staff supportive of each other? 

I would say yes. It's really just like life. There are some people you meet you like and others you don't. I've had a very supportive year and a year that was kind of on my own. It also depends on you and how involved you want to get. When I first moved here, everyone was so helpful and supportive, it took me back. I think maybe I'm used to it, because if you have a problem, even people you don't normally talk to will jump in and help you out. 

Is it super expensive to get school supplies or professional books sent there?

Yes. It's super expensive to get anything out here. There are some tricks. Amazon Prime offers free shipping on most items, as does Walmart. If you find free shipping deals, then nab them while you can. Most companies though charge a lot to ship out to rural Alaska. I was very lucky with school supplies. My mom and a friend of mine went crazy this summer and bought a bunch of stuff and sent it up to me.  Care packages are a good way to get what you need and what you miss. Let me tell you, I've never appreciated opening a box with lined paper in it so much!

What math program do they use?

For elementary we use Every Day Math. 

So, I assume you are staying for another year?? 

I am not actually.

What are the ramifications of not making the reading progress you mentioned? 

According to the new Teacher Evaluation Tool adopted by my district, nothing this year. However, if I do not make proficient in my Student Progress section for two years in a row, then I don't remember if I would be placed on a Plan of Improvement or let go. I think I'd be let go. I have to be honest, being given an unrealistic goal was not a good feeling. Grades 3+ just have to show a year's worth of growth, and my students actually have made a year's worth of growth if not more. However, that's not a piece of my evaluation. While it wasn't a motivating factor as to my leaving, I won't miss my district evaluating me. Common sense tells me the district will have to go back and re-evaluate that piece, at least for future teacher's sake, I hope they go back and re-evaluate. They should anyways. For some of my students, they needed two years worth of growth. Yeah, that's been a thorn in my side this year.

Did you get to choose your grade level? 

I did not, however I was able to apply for a Second Grade position. If I really wanted to change grade levels, I think I could have if those positions were available. Some teachers I know have changed and others, like me, have stayed in the same grade. 

What do you do if you are sick?

Hope it's not serious. Ha ha. We have subs, but it might be someone's spouse or significant other. There are people in the community who come in. I've had some very good subs. Actually, subs like subbing for me. I'm not sick too often, but it happens. There's no real training for being a sub, and sometimes they really do just need a warm body to supervise. Like I said though, I've been lucky. I write detailed sub plans with times and next to my sub plans I have the Teacher Editions with the pages flagged and a stack of handouts labeled. I'm pretty specific about what I want and where they can find things. For example: my student readers I call: The Hardback Green Books. And I let them know which student can help with that.

On another note, I've also decided I'm not going to shut this blog down. This blog was designed for my adventures and since I plan on having more adventures (Iceland - July 2013!!!) and day trip adventures, my blog will stay. I just won't be writing about rural Alaska. Some would argue that a fresh start needs a fresh blog, but no. I've grown and changed and life around me has changed but the blog has been here.

So thank you for reading me and please, stick around....with my life, you never know what's around the corner!!!

Teaching in Rural Alaska Part 2

I had some questions from a couple of my readers in the last post. Yay! So, I thought I'd take a moments and answer those questions first.

What do you find most rewarding working in Akiak?

Hands down, it's working with the kids. I have really great relationships with most of the kids and we have a lot of fun together. But at the same time, I'm not their friend, I'm their teacher. Which is a hard balance to maintain, especially when I'm friends with their families and older siblings. But I put a lot of work into establishing a good relationship with them and it pays off.

This year has been challenging. And the district is just using a reading fluency test as my example of student growth. Which doesn't sound bad, except they are only looking for who is proficient at a 2nd grade level. And several of my students came into my classroom still confusing their letter sounds. So if you were to look at my results....I'm not getting any. But the other day, one of those same students went over to the classroom library and pulled out The Lorax by Dr. Seuss. She sat down and began reading the book to herself out loud. Successfully reading it. And I found myself stopping, and realizing...my kids have come really far. I felt like a teacher. My test scores will say I didn't do my job, but that test score doesn't show the growth my students have really made.

Over the last 3 years, I have laughed so hard with them. We've danced. One little first grader (who is now one of my 3rd graders) taught me how to 2 Step at a fiddle. They've been so loving and I constantly get love notes and drawings. I was surprised at Valentine's Day getting a stuffed bear for the first time in my life. There's so much love there. And so much laughter. They are the most rewarding thing about working here.

What is the most frustrating?

I've thought about this question a lot. I think the most frustrating thing is that everything is so much harder here. From the basic necessitates like: power, water, heat, and sewage going out, to getting your groceries, to having a social life, to getting school supplies & materials...never mind actually the teaching part, which is challenging onto itself. 

Teaching here has been the hardest gig I've ever had. Even jobs I've hated weren't as difficult. I think it's been worth it, but make no mistake...it's hard.

I don't really want to nit pick all the challenges, because I feel like that would be too negative. But it really is every aspect of my life is harder. Keep in mind, I'm an urban girl. I never cooked before or lived in snow. I became a teacher in the town I grew up in. In fact, I taught right next to my high school. I never liked camping because it seemed to me like a lot of work. 

So why did I move out here to begin with, right? Maybe if I was used to some of the lifestyle, everything wouldn't be so hard. And some things aren't hard anymore...just annoying. Like losing water. There was no water in the village on Sunday. Akiak ran out. I've learned over the years to always keep some on hand. And to jump up and fill some buckets when I hear the water alarm. I've also learned how to manage with no heat in subzero temperatures as well (if you have power, turn on the oven). 

I've learned how to handle the difficulties and I've learned to let the little stuff go. Like traveling. I just plan on getting stuck. I've been stuck in Anchorage and Bethel. I've learned how to sleep in an airplane terminal and how to freshen up. I've even learned how to make a honey bucket that's easy to clean up. 

The isolation is hard. But it's really my own fault. Kinda. I wasn't able to visit California because of my animals. I didn't have anyone who could watch them. And I didn't think I could bring them all to California. So I stayed in Akiak for all of July....then August...and then I went to Anchorage for a few days to visit my mother. But I stayed here for Winter break to save money. And spring break. I was planning an Anchorage visit to buy a car. But I'm not doing that anymore. So come May, I will have been in Akiak almost a full year with only leaving for 2 weekends. That's too much isolation for me. I wouldn't recommend that to anyone. Even the natives have gotten out more than me. So I think someone could manage the isolation in chunks....11 months is too much. 

2 cats and a giant dog make life hard to travel, and at one point, I was the only teacher left in Akiak.

And as far as why the teaching part is hard.....It's hard to be a teacher here. Some don't last the year. Most of the students here are traumatized for something or another. There's a lot of drinking and violence happening in some of the homes and the kids see it if not are victims of the violence. 

I will give you an example: a few months ago, a guy got drunk and set fire to a house with several people still in the house. Members of the village rushed to put out the fire. The community came together very quickly. (There's no fire department.) The fire was put out and the people trapped inside were able to escape. The next day, a bunch of kids told me about it. It was a big deal and the kids were worked up about it. Which is understandable, the community helped out, so naturally the kids would know about it. But they all know there were people trapped inside. What a terrifying experience for everyone involved!!! 

So, it's hard but if you are able to see the beauty and the laughter, the hardships don't have to define your time in rural Alaska. But sometimes it's easy to get stuck on what's hard than what's fun. But I think that's a statement about life in general. 

How much time did they give you to decide once they offered you a contract?

I'll keep this one short and sweet. I had 30 days to sign my contract. 

Do you live in the same house each year?

I've lived in this house for 2 years now. You can move around here but you can also stay put. I moved to a smaller house so I could live alone. The roommate situation really affects where you live. And sometimes, if a nicer house opens up, it might be worth grabbing. Some people don't want to go through the hassle of moving as well. It really depends on the availability.

Do you have to live with a roommate?

In my district, you may have to. Other districts may have enough teacher housing. My first year out, I was assigned a roommate. Whereas, two other single women got to live alone that same year. One year, it was the choice between hiring a male or a female for the same job and based on who the roommate could be determined who got the job. Sounds messed up, but they didn't want to hire someone they couldn't provide housing for and they don't make members of the opposite sex be roommates. 

I prefer to live alone. My house isn't as nice as my last one. The floor is ripped up and there's still nails from the carpet that someone pried up. Someone painted the walls without protecting the floors, so there's dried paint all around the edges of the bedroom. The walls are painted plywood and there's random nails left behind by previous tenants. But it's too small of a place to assign a roommate to me. So I am able to live alone. And my house is warm and cozy. And I live alone. Yes, I said that twice. But I live alone. 

Remember, I essentially live with my coworkers. I socialize with them. They've watched Dakota grow up from a little (ahem, maybe not so little) puppy. They hear stories of my life. They know I don't get up on the weekends before noon. They've all seen me in my pjs....some of them have even seen me in my towel wrap. Before I moved up here, I made it a point that none of my coworkers saw me without makeup or knew my sleeping habits. Now, my Literacy Leader knows she can call me if she sees Dakota outside because she knows I won't sleep as long as he's outside. My co-workers know me too well. 

And my roommate knew even more intimate details about my life. I guess I'm just one of those people who prefer a little distance between work and home. I don't want my coworkers to see me at my worst, and I want the freedom to be at my worst when I'm in the privacy of my own home. 

I like to swear. I find a lot of offensive stuff funny. But I want to preserve that image of me being a lady in public. I was watching something that I found too vulgar at times at my house...but most of it was funny (Mr. Plinkett's Star Wars reviews) so I kept watching it. And then I heard our classroom management coach outside my door talking to my duplexmate. I hope he didn't overhear some of the stuff being said! I would be horrified! But it was pretty funny, so I just turned it down.

There's a story of a teacher coming out and insisting that she live alone because her husband was planning on visiting her. So they gave her a house all to herself until her husband could join her. But then the husband was never mentioned again. EVER. Did he ever exist? I dunno. It's a mystery. I joked that I should get married just so I can live alone. Instead, I just took a teeny tiny little house. And then I filled it with a Giant Alaskan Malamute (accidentally mind you). Go figure!

I guess the bottom line as to roommates is: it depends on the housing needs and who's coming back and who's new.....

So this concludes Part 2. I will write a Part 3 because there's still some tips and hints I can add. But this one's pretty long...

If you would like to ask a question, I will be happy to answer it! Or feel free to leave a comment too....

Teaching in Rural Alaska Part 1

Greetings! It's that time of year again, where districts start posting jobs and the hiring process for rural Alaska is about to begin. The 3 year anniversary of my attending the Anchorage job fair will be in a few weeks.

I wanted to talk about some things a teacher might encounter when teaching in the bush. Now, some of this may be things I've said before, but I have to admit, I've sugar-coated some of my experiences. I don't intend to write everything down in one sitting so this will take more than one post. 

Please note that I can only speak from my experience and I have only lived in one village.

The biggest issue I faced was in the beginning. Before I left, the head of HR of my last district had come up to me after I dropped off my letter of resignation. Several people in the district (admin included) were trying to talk me into requesting a leave of absence. It was a good idea, one that meant I could take a year off and then come back. But I knew the best thing for me was to cut my safety net. If I had my job in California waiting for me, I would never have tried so hard to make it work in Alaska. I knew myself. So when I resigned, it came as quite a surprise to people. The head of HR came up to me and asked, "Miss Ruark, what did you do?" I told him that I did what was best for me. He smiled and shook my hand.

Once I had arrived in Akiak, it was like nothing I had ever known. I was a city girl who had only traveled to other cities. London, New York, San Francisco.....and Reno....never anywhere rural. As my culture shock reverberated through my body, I had his words running through my head. "What did you do?" Except it was in my own voice. The houses looked different, they looked like they were up on stilts and the buildings all looked similar. There was no two story buildings anywhere. The road was dirt and I had already noticed on the bush plane over that Akiak really was in the middle of the tundra. 

The Main Road

My new bedroom was the size of a prison cell and it had no door (there was a bigger room that had already been claimed by my roommate). The windows of my house were boarded up. There were new sounds, new sights, familiar sounds were gone (cars, jets, sirens, sprinklers), and the animals looked wild. I don't know if I have ever admitted before that I struggled HARD that first night. I was asking myself if I had made a mistake coming out there.

AHHHH! But I had no job to go back to. So I awoke the next morning with new determination. This was going to work because it had to. And here I sit, 3 years later. Well, you know what I mean. 

My 1st Bedroom

*Culture Shock

Yeah, it happens. But you can move beyond it easily enough. For me, not only did cutting my safety net help, but so did finding something familiar. The kids. I had fun with the kids. And it wasn't until I started interacting with them that I felt myself relax and I felt normal. I thought I'd have to turn into a super outdoorsy girl who liked to rough it. Naw, I still prefer room service or a fire pit. I've cut fish but I still prefer my fish out of can. 

*Head Lice

So, in my village several of the kids have head lice. Some people even believe that head lice helps prevent sickness in children. The first misconception I've heard teachers (who are no longer here) make is that it means the kids are dirty if they have lice. That's not true. Head lice prefer clean heads. The eggs stay on the shaft better if the hair is clean. 

I've seen teachers treat the kids who have head lice like a leper. One teacher (no longer here) told her students they couldn't play with another student. And she'd hug some kids but not the one who had the head lice. There's no need for cruelty. Head lice can be easily taken care of in one evening. My roommate got head lice and I thought I had gotten it too. But that was before I got to know the little buggers and now I'm not so sure. I had just dyed my hair a darker color and so I think it was dyed skin we were actually scrapping off. 

Ladies - wear your hair up. I still hug kids. I haven't gotten it. And I also use a preventative spray (It's called Fairy Tales) that I spray in my hair. Another thing that keeps head lice away (and kills it if you do get lice) is to dye your hair. Hair dye is actually not as harsh as a head lice treatment. Although, you'll want one of those on hand. Especially get one with a spray for furniture. Remember, it's heat and extreme cold that kill lice...pillows can go in the dryer or left outside in a baggy overnight during the winter. But the spray works for couches and chairs. 

I recommend this product!

If you see a louse in a child's hair, please don't freak out. I've been talking to kids before when I saw a louse walk through their hair. And it's not the child's fault, so be gentle. One student of mine kept getting nits (which doesn't qualify a child to get sent home, only live bugs) in her beautiful long hair. So the parents chopped it off. I've had a little girl with a shaved head before. I never comment on it, and once a girl got her hair chopped for lice, she wore a hat for 3 months, and I let her.

My take on head lice is: you can't be scared of it. If you do get head lice, it's not the end of the world, you can get rid of it. But there are products you can purchase that can help prevent it. And I would also suggest buying a metal nit comb...for those times your head is itching and you just want to be sure....just writing this has got my head itching something fierce. 

A Metal Nit Picker

*Watch Out for Negative Nellys

Before I moved to Akiak, a villager had gotten drunk and broke into several teacher's houses - trashing them and stealing their clothes. I believe it was an "off his medications" incident and that was actually pretty rare. 

Well, one teacher (who's no longer there) had told several of us newbies of the incident. And told us to WATCH OUT! Because it was a message for new teachers telling us we were not welcome. And we were told this in Anchorage before we officially moved out there. 

Now, let's stop and think. The houses in question were already being lived in, hence the clothing. So, if it was actually a message to new teachers, wouldn't the damage had been to new teachers houses? Instead of returning teachers? And is the message: I'll break into your house & come out wearing your clothes? 

My point of this story is to say that some people will tell you the most negative things: Your district doesn't care about you or the kids. You're house will explode in the winter if you have a leak in your pipes (one of my personal faves). All Alaskan Natives hate white teachers. None of these kids can learn. Every one's always drunk. Every husband beats his wife. No kid will like you. It doesn't matter what you do, cause there's no use trying. And every year I hear: it's gonna flood.

There's always someone who is completely negative. It's harder to deal with in the bush because there are so few of us and when you are new, you want to get as much advice as possible. It's hard to weed out the BS versus the real advice. 

So here's my tips: avoid believing statements that are actually generalizations. Words like "ALL" or "EVERY" tend to be dead giveaways that you may not be able to trust what you are about to hear. 

Use some common sense: like the house exploding (seriously, that was a warning), really stop and think about what they are saying. My logic was if that were in fact true, wouldn't there be remnants of houses that actually did explode? 

My advice is to find someone who the kids really respect. Find someone who seems to be having a good life out here. That's what I did. Not only did I gain valuable insight into my families, but I got to know them so much better through my mentor. Look for someone who's making it work. Not someone suffering through it. Misery loves company and someone may just be trying to suck you in!!

*FAS

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome - when a mother drinks while pregnant and the baby is born with birth defects. Some kids may not be full FAS, they might just have moderate symptoms. The state of Alaska requires all teachers (read that again please: ALL TEACHERS) to take mandated training on FAS and it's symptoms. Why would a state do that if the numbers of students in the public school system with FAS related symptoms weren't incredibly high? 

State-wide, the numbers are high. Now, just because there's no diagnosis, does not mean you won't see some alcohol related effects in your students. Many times, it will look like ADHD, kids will need more breaks, and sometimes a student actually cannot remember what you taught them the day before. It literally left their brain. It's not that the student is trying, the student may really be doing the best that he

/she can be.

Okay, I am not going to delve into FAS. I just want to point it out. You will take training on how to teach students with FAS if you come to Alaska. All teachers have to. And there is a reason. And don't worry, the training will go over tips for your classroom far better than I could anyways. 

To Be Continued......

(Note to self: mosquitoes, dogs/dog yards, winter gear, shopping)

****If you have any questions you would like answered, please leave them in my comment box and I will address them in Part 2*****

Make It Work

The other night, I experienced a moment of self-doubt. I felt “the fear”. I was talking to my mother about my road trip in May, when I started to feel nervous. Would it be easier to just fly to California? What if something bad happens on my trip?

And then, I started worrying about my trip to Iceland. What am I thinking stepping off a plane by myself in a foreign country? What if I can’t find my way around Reykjavik? What if I can’t get on a tour to see the other places I want to see? What if someone tries to mess with me? What if my trip sucks?

Then I realized, I don’t want to be a woman who doesn’t try new things because she’s scared. I want to be the kind of woman who goes off on adventures despite her nerves. I want to be the kind of woman who doesn’t let things like fear stop her.

So, I thought about my trip to Iceland. I know I can get on a sight seeing bus and discover Reykjavik without getting lost. I know I can contact tour companies and arrange a tour….or find a group I can join.

As for my road trip, I just have to know the main roads that I am taking and go from there. I ordered The Milepost, and it arrived today. It’s a guide that tells you all the stops and things to see on the Alaskan Highway. It will tell you what is available at each stop…it even gives bear warnings.

The more information I have at my disposal, the safer I shall be. And I know I can think on my feet and keep a clear head. Sadly, I know this the hard way. I once encountered a drunk man, and I’m not sure if his intent was to seduce me or rape me, but I knew I had to keep him calm and not piss him off. I was able to distract him while I called for help and he ran off. But the incident showed me that I can be calm and use my head, even with my heart pounding in my chest.

I have been told that I was brave for moving to rural Alaska. I didn’t feel brave. I felt determined. This was going to work out because it had to. Bravery had nothing to do with it. It was sheer stubbornness that pushed me through. Okay, I will let you in on a secret. A few months before I moved away, I participated in a webinar where someone listed the qualities of a successful bush teacher. Flexible, resourceful, strong, etc…and I knew I had those qualities. So I went off to Alaska because I knew I had what it takes. I knew I could do this. That helped, I was determined to make it work because I knew it could.

So when faced with “the fear”, I had to stop and think. Do I have what it takes to drive to California or to go to Iceland by myself. Yes, I can do this. Am I unwittingly putting myself in a dangerous position? I can’t plan everything, however, I have enough common sense to stay safe in a city. That applies to life. I’ll have my dog on my road trip and Reykjavik is known to be a safe city for women to travel alone. And just to be on the safe side, I will watch the movie Taken (can’t hurt).

I see some people I know who let the fear stop them. Trying something new and/or stepping into the unknown is too scary for some people. And while that’s fine for them, it’s not for me. Before I moved away, I was one of those people. I hadn’t been on an airplane in over 10 years. I had excuses. I couldn’t go traveling anywhere because of my cats. Or I said, I don’t like traveling. But Alaska has awoken my desire for adventure, my desire to see new places, and helped me realize that I am stronger than I thought I was. Things are scary but I no longer will let the fear stop me. It hasn’t stopped me in 3 years, and it’s not going to now.

My drive down to California will work out because it has too. It doesn’t have to go according to the plan (the bush has let me experience flying by the seat of my pants, thank you very much), but I will make it. I don’t feel brave, I feel determined.

Iceland will be awesome, because it already is. I want to see Viking museums, waterfalls, geysers, geometric pools, spas, and cafes. They are already there. I want to hear Icelandic being spoken and understand some words. People are already speaking Icelandic, I just have to keep learning it. I will sign up for some tours this month. I will read over my guidebooks. I will step off that plane and have a bus ready to pick me up. I have done my homework. I may not make any new friends in Iceland (I’ve heard the locals are a shy bunch) but notice my list didn’t say I wanted to make new friends. So if I do make a friend, it will be a nice surprise. A bonus you could say. And I might meet some people from other countries, you never know.

I am strong. I am determined. I don’t feel particularly brave, but that’s okay. I don’t need to be brave. I just need to make it work and have some fun in the process. 

Sunrise in Akiak

The Mighty Dakota

Snow Storm 

Another Akiak Sunrise

In Snow Up To My Knees

Me - bundled up!

A Dog Yard

A Short Cut to School

Celebrating Dr. Seuss 

Birthdays, Bethel Trips, and a Birdy

Sometimes, life seems to be pretty normal....then I'll start thinking what can I write about, then I realize, life in the bush is never very normal....or maybe it's just my life? Anyways, January is almost over and my life has .... well, it's different.

It's funny how someone can change your life, by just enriching it. I have a "new" friend. He's not a new friend...but he's kinda new to me...or rather we used to live together at one point, but now I'm getting to know him better....

Okay, he's a friend of my baby brother. At one point, my friend, Pretty Bird, lived with us during one summer when I was maybe a teenager. We did not get along. I remember one specific screaming match. He told me to clean the house and I told him to get off our couch. Good times. Anyways, we reconnected on Facebook, but I never gave it much thought.

I don't even remember how we started chatting but we did and he's really into music. So he would share different songs with me. And he introduced me to dubstep. It's a kind of electronic music. I used to love techno but got away from it. I had never heard of dubstep, but now, I love it. And I find myself playing music a lot more. I've actually gotten away from watching movies all the time. Which is nice cause I'm dancing around my house a lot more. So, Pretty Bird has really brought some fun music into my life. He's not a coffee-house guy. But he's a good guy and I've been enjoying getting to know him better. I mean, the guy really is adorable...and a lot funnier than I remembered. All of my brother's friends are pretty witty come to think of it, but I didn't remember Pretty Bird being so funny. But then again, who's really at their best as a teenager?

So teenagers, take heart! The guy you hate today may become someone you really value in the future!

Another event that happened was my 36th birthday. And it was a very good birthday. I baked a bunch of cookies and invited some kids over to wish me a happy birthday. Five girls ended up coming to my house. Two girls were from my class last year and then the other girls were older, say middle school. We ate cookies, they tried on my jewelry, played on my kindles, and laid on my bed. Oh! And they lavished attention on Dakota and my cats. It was fun.

Dakota getting some love

Trying on my jewelry

Later that night, I went over to another teacher's house for a dinner and game night. I brought Dakota over and there was a lady over visiting who had never seen Dakota before. I often forget how big Dakota is, and so I found the look on her face seeing Dakota for the first time quite comical. Dakota may take people by surprise, but he's so affectionate and friendly, that he'll quickly win them over.

Dakota @ 1 1/2 years old

He's starting to shed actually. I'm actually not looking forward to the hours and hours I will be spending brushing out his coat. BUT since we are heading to California in May, maybe it's a good thing most of his winter coat (or all one hopes?) will be gone.

I was invited to spend the day in Bethel for a girl's trip last weekend with a friend of mine from another village. I didn't tell anyone I was going, in case the trip fell through. I got a seat through seat fare, which is cheaper but then you are at the mercy of the bush airline.....and it's risky.

Oh, but I made it to Bethel. No problem. In fact, I wish I had brought my camera, because the flight over was one of the loveliest flights I have ever had. It was still dark but the full moon was yellow and so large, it illuminated the tundra and the frozen river. It was such a beautiful sight. So I made it just fine. My friend, on the other hand...eh...not so lucky. The plane that was supposed to get her had some maintenance issues. So it never showed up in her village. She waited out on her airstrip in well below zero with the wind chill for a couple of hours. She started feeling ill from the cold and called it a day.

So there I was in Bethel. By myself. With really nothing to do. I didn't really need to shop and I really went to just hang out with my friend for the day. I had started texting my friend, Pretty Bird, while I was waiting for my friend. So I just kept texting him. I went to one store (working ATM), where I bought a book to read, and then I went out to lunch (yummy club sandwich), and then did a little shopping at another store. And I just kept talking to Pretty Bird the whole day. I took him step by step with me.....and it was almost like I spent the day in Bethel with Pretty Bird. I would explain things about Bethel and my day as they came up.

There was one hairy moment though. I did not have my ice cleats and the ground was pretty icy. I took a cab (which the heat was turned on to 90 degrees) to the restaurant. From the restaurant, I just had to cross a busy street to go to the store. So I'm reading my book, texting Pretty Bird, and enjoying my lunch when a nagging feeling starts to hit me.....how dangerous would it be for me to walk across the street? If I fell, it would hurt....but I was also about to cross a busy street. Did I want to chance falling in front of a car?

I could take a cab across the street. I was starting to consider the $5 cab fare as a "safe passage" fee. Pretty Bird was no help by the way...."be safe" can mean so many things. So I asked the lady running the restaurant (possibly the "Connie" at Connie's Place?) if she thought I could make it. She thought I could, as long as I hugged the edges. By the way, if you cross a street, there aren't any edges.

But I thought, "Alright, I can do this." And you know what? Yeah, not a big deal. I took my time, but after 3 years, I have learned how to walk on ice. If you've never walked on ice before, you can't take normal steps. You have to place your foot on the ice with your weight evenly dispersed. So I walk slowly (and prefer wearing cleats or stabilizers) but I can walk it now. Geez, I remember trying to cross the street in Anchorage fearing for my life that first year I was here. Life is funny.

So, after my last shopping trip, I arrived at the bush airline a couple hours early. I had my book (Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult about a school shooting in a small town) and became engrossed in my book. Before I knew it, they were announcing my flight back to Akiak (an hour early mind you, but I wasn't going to complain) and I was on my way home. It was certainly one of my weirder adventures but I never really felt lonely. I had my friend, my book, and my wallet....I was fine.

That is one of the key things for living out in the Bush. Nothing goes according to the plan. EVER. Weather will change things in the blink of an eye. And sometimes, there is no reason why something doesn't happen. The best thing anyone can do, is enjoy the moment and find the fun. You have to roll with the punches or you will hate it out here.

And it really helps if you can surround yourself with fun people who help remind you of the comedy that is life.....I have several good friends who make me laugh. And those are the people I turn to at the end of a hard day. And when all else fails, I can always crank up the music and dance it out! I have friends for that too.....

Dakota Cuddles

A Gift From One of My Girls

A New Qespeq Made By Me!!

Welcome 2013

It took me two tries to type in the right year. Well, that's gonna take some time to get used to!

So, I really did mean to write. Then then horrible shooting happened in Newtown, CT. And I couldn't write. I am a teacher. My blog is mostly about teaching in rural Alaska. My worst nightmare as a teacher had happened (actually right in the town my parents were living in when I was born) and I couldn't ignore it. I just didn't know what to say. I still don't actually. It's just so horrible. How do you respond to something like that? I thought our president did very well.

I know the push is to ban guns, assault or otherwise, and I don't know if there's only one answer. How can you prepare against something so inconceivable as what happened? I hope I will never have to go through anything that horrible.

So, I just needed some time but I did want to say something. It broke my heart. As it did many peoples across the world.

And then life goes on, as it must.

I did not go back to California for the holidays. I had wanted to save money this year because I planned on flying all my animals and me for an extended stay in the summer. Well, there's been some changes to the plan.....cause I have decided to take the opportunity for an adventure and drive down the ALCAN Highway to California. I think this will be awesome.....and of course, a month after I arrive in California, I shall be off for a week in Iceland!

This summer is going to be full of adventures! And I am so looking forward to them all! Even Dakota in California will bring smaller adventures, I'm sure.

Because my flight & hotel in Iceland is all paid for, I'm not really sure if I actually saved any money, but whatever, my flight & hotel is all paid for!!

I've taken another big step in a new direction: I have started writing about my moving up to Akiak and I hope to turn it into a book. I am writing a novel "loosely" about my adventures. Which may not be what people expect, but I want the freedom to make up certain people who represent the different choices a teacher can make up here.  I also want the freedom to do things that didn't really happen. For example, I don't plan on my main character getting carsick on the Ice Road. I think I'll just not mention it. :) But since it's in the initial phase, don't hold me to any of that!! I have already made several big changes to what I thought I wanted.

Christmas in Akiak was different. It was my first time away from my family during Christmas. My brother was able to Skype me with everyone there, and that was fun. My family is not use to Skype. Some family members spent their time watching themselves in the video...and acting things out...recreating music videos....it ended with my 5 year old niece doing some kind of interpretive dance. I still wish I was able to record it.

I hadn't been feeling very well and I had wanted to check out my students in the Christmas Program on Christmas Eve. However, I was really dizzy that day. I think my sinuses were too dried out from the medicine I had taken. But I missed the program. I've actually never seen a Christmas Program except for movies.

New Year's was interesting. At midnight, there was a big firework show. And lucky for me, I could see it from my bedroom window. A few minutes after that one ended, there was another show, and I could see that one from my bedroom window too.

At 3:30 a.m., there was another show in view of my bedroom window. That one wasn't my favorite. I was still awake but it really scared Dakota. So much so that he spent the next few hours on my bed with me, which isn't like him.

Now, as many of you know, Akiak is a dry village. It is illegal for anyone to have alcohol. That being said, the drunks these last few nights have been really loud. This morning around 6:30 a.m. there was a huge group....or just several very loud people.

I do get scared when I hear drunks outside. Especially if they are angry drunks. I get worried that one of them will get a gun and start shooting....cause it happens. When Dakota hears shooting (or fireworks) he goes to the window to try to see what the noise is....ummmm, no!! I'm trying to train him not to do that. The only time I've ever been screamed at was by a drunk who saw me walking Dakota. He was so far away that I didn't make out what he was saying about "*$%&@ teachers!" I'm sure it was something nice.

Anyways, there seems to be a party house close to mine and when I hear them, I make sure Dakota is inside where I can keep an eye on him.

I used to believe that alcohol brought out the worst traits in people that they tried to hide. Like if you were mean at heart, it would come out when you are drinking. I don't think that about Native Alaskans when they drink. It's more like a Dr. Jeckell & Mr. Hyde. I will meet the nicest kindest person, and then when they start drinking, they become completely someone else at their core. Now, you don't have to believe me, but that's just what I've seen. People who wouldn't hurt a fly can become so violent. I've read that it has to do with how Native Alaskans (and Native Americans for that matter) process sugar. For example, there are more cases of diabetes and lactose intolerance among Native people...all of that involves different kinds of sugar and how the body processes it. And I've been told, when people drink here, it's binge drinking. It's a matter of guzzling down the bottle of rottgut whiskey. I don't know how you spell rottgut, and I don't really care to look up the correct spelling of that word.

Sometimes, it feels the more I see in the world, the less I know how to help. What will make children safer in schools? How can Native alcoholics stop drinking? I don't know.

All I can do is what I do. I treat people the way I want to be treated. I label people more than I judge them. Yes, this person makes the choice to _________. Does it mean they are a bad person? I really don't know.  How can I judge them when I don't know what is going on in their mind? I don't know what makes someone drink, just like no one knows why I have my own issues.

I do wish those who need help will find the help they need. It's only 5:30 p.m.....and I hear a drunk at the party house. Or maybe she's just yelling profanities for the fun of it. Maybe I'm missing out, and I don't know it.....